I am positive we have all experienced the dreaded “Friend Zone” reference at some point in our existence. Generally speaking, it isn’t typically associated with positive connotations and is more associated with “losing the race.” However, this is because we don’t normally wrap our minds around the dilemma, how it came to be, and the circumstances surrounding it. My challenge in this writing is to explore the positive nature of this dilemma. Full disclosure – I could be completely off-base and the friend zone is the most terrible and dreadful place you may find yourself. IJS…

When starting a relationship, whether platonic, accidentally, or with purpose, we set out on a journey to better understand the person in which we are engaging. The start can be fueled by so many various components that it’s not one simple path that gets us to the starting gate. Attraction, by far, is the most traveled path, while someone’s aura may be the least (only because it’s a difficult attribute to tap into). Whatever the initial flame the outcome in this…ahem…”study” is the results in the two people becoming friends.

The other aspect of this journey is when the friend zone takes place. In most cases you look up and realize the zone you are in is that zone and your feeling of perplex remains unsolved. It’s like turning left when you should have turned right. Or getting off the bus at the wrong stop because you were caught up in the moment. Or thinking you killed that exam only to find out you scored 5 out of 50 (yes, that can happen!).

The most glaring oxymoron pertaining to a friendship is the admission we want to find our best friend and be with them forever. Good luck with that. As fate usually has it we either end up in the friend zone or we become estranged as we find ourselves growing apart from a friendship we once had.

I once had an ex-partner exclaim to me that we would be the best of friends if we weren’t in a relationship.

Our peeps that end up in our own friend zones have become friends that we can share with, laugh with, celebrate with, and commune with. Yet, somewhere along this relationship building exercise the transformation occurred. But, if we are on the opposite end of that trajectory we don’t focus on the positive aspects of where the journey took us and the lasting relationship formed but the negative aspect of where we found ourselves. In the meantime, the lasting beauty of that newly formed relationship may be one of the best relationships we have experienced.

Therefore, I want to cherish the beauty of the journey and accept the intended outcome as designed by the universe. I will be intentional about openness to those that might qualify as a friend, especially as a partner, and enjoy the friendship journey as it unfolds. No remorse.

I will not close the door on the possibilities of the future, meaning, not to view the friend zone as a permanent address, but merely an opportunity to grow further in the relationship. Stranger things have happened. I know people that grew into friends and found life giving them both a rich experience full of positive outcomes. In a world full of divorce, deceit, lying, cheating, and hate how can we not welcome the love of an everlasting friendship?

“The IDEA of love is only temporary if not fueled by a level of committed love

that comes from a true friendship.” – Me

I can only hope for a future in where I find a partner that I can relate, while building a love bond that becomes unshakable. The thought of that person will propel me to act and behave as I would do with my best friend. It’s not an easy path to achieve, but it is desirable. Therefore, I purposely choose to rise above the dilemma with the hope of building a better partnership no matter the outcome.

Go well and with love good peeps.