My Sun, My Moon

My Sun

Born on a stormy summer night in the heart of the Southside of the city. A bundle of strange but beautiful energy that emanated from his mother’s womb, my Sun was truly a gift waiting to be unwrapped. It wasn’t his below normal size or his unusual movements, nor the scare we had of losing him during pregnancy, but the way in which he “spoke” to me through my wife’s belly. I could tell he was full of antics and surprises – like when he shied away from the ultra-sound as the doctor attempted to discover his gender. My Sun tossed and turned as the ultrasonic rays attempted to get a glimpse of the creation God entrusted in his mother’s womb.

I was confident he would rise like the sun, but I had no idea of the inner shine he would disperse. And his birth – after a labor stint of 24-hours – was beyond magic, it was the miracle of life many folks have experienced throughout history. Yet, here he was, born on this wet night, thunder raging in the background – my Sun was born. The light cut through the dark of the night as he emerged. His sounds were strong, but his spirit was stronger as he clenched his tiny hands. And so, life began again, yet, this was his life.

The life of my Sun.

My Moon

Contrasted by a serene early morning Autumn day my Moon came into this world like the moon itself – quiet, unassuming, magnetic and majestic. A boldness that can be viewed directly from miles away and riveting in every way. Her beauty lies in the compelling energy she embodies. Her spirit shines so brightly like the rising of a new moon daily. Atmospheric pressures twirl within her very being – giving notice to all who are graced with her presence. My Moon is amazing.

She was born to be bold yet so shy. My Moon came into this world in a most imaginative way. I remember the tears of joy slowly slid down my cheeks as I saw her for the first time. She connected with her mother like a scene out of a mother-daughter Lifetime movie – emotional and authentic. The beauty of the moment lives in a little room in my heart prepared for a moment like my Moon’s birth. I never understood the tremendous beauty of the night until my Moon revealed when she entered this world. As ocean waves are lit under a moonlit sky, my Moon did the same for my humanity.

My Moon rose majestically.

And the story begins…

Go well and with love good peeps.

A Hero to One

In the wake of Chadwick Boseman’s passing I am compelled to examine how he touched millions of people with his great portrayal of the Black Panther despite his personal health issues. And by all accounts he was a stand-up guy and many folks, myself included, were devastated to hear the news of his death. As I watched the movie on ABC TV and the tribute following the movie I wondered how he came to be such a great and welcomed hero during this time. And was I capable of exemplifying the traits of a hero?

Black Panther Movie Digital Download

I am forever touched by individuals who display such human compassion and dignity in their lives like a second nature – effortlessly engaging with others and doing so with authenticity and poise. The life we are living is never promised, yet, some people learn to embrace what has been bestowed upon them as if it was already written in history for them to be great.

And here I sit – in complete awe and mesmerized by Chadwick’s goodness that I want to assess my own morality and step up my game to another level. I don’t want to leave this earth with that incomplete feeling as though I haven’t left all of my cards on the table. Or that I squandered good relationships because of my social ineptitude. Or that I was clueless to the impact I had on other people’s lives because I was caught up in my own self-pity.

It dawned on me that I, too, am a hero – to one – one human being at a time.

My two kids see me as a hero – not that we’ve had conversations but that I see it in how they treat me. Sometimes they seem awed by my ordinary actions that show up as extra-ordinary in the eyes of a child.

Or they describe me to their friends in a way that is uplifting, yet, I’ve done very little heavy lifting.

And they will provide me subtle hints of their immense love for me when I don’t feel lovingly at all.

I am human – I am flawed – I am a hero

And like any great hero we are driven by our internal compasses that guide us to be better than we once were. We are a work-in-progress as we rediscover who we are and the value we bring to others. The value we bring rarely shows up in a way that is blatant but it is ever-present in our daily actions. The eyes of society are upon us. It is important to recognize this and understand the power that has been bestowed upon us as we touch the beautiful souls of others.

Most of us will never receive the recognition of a Marvel Super Hero, but, in many ways we will. It is the quiet, unassuming masks that we don every day that puts us in the same stratosphere of superheroness.

Don’t sell yourself short and learn to embrace your own super powers within. Society needs us. Don’t you see that bat signal?

Prayers to the family and friends of Chadwick Boseman.

Go well and with love good peeps.

A HERO is a real person or a main fictional character who, in the face of danger, combats adversity through feats of ingenuity, courage or strength. Like other formerly solely gender-specific terms, hero is often used to refer to any gender, though heroine only refers to female. Wikipedia

MY MOMENTS AND A SONG

There are moments in our lives – good and bad – where the experience we undertake is accompanied by song. The song and the experience intertwine to create a memory that is triggered by merely hearing the song. Also, the memory cannot be played back in our minds without the accompanying song in the background. It is through this complex orchestration of elements that defined who we were as individuals during that life moment. The beauty or sorrow experienced is an experience that lives on forever. I can appreciate the revelation into my soul because of this.

The DedicationAll That I Can Say – Mary J Blige

We lay together in each other’s arms on my bed. We were relatively silent after a time of loving on one another. It was late night and a song came over the radio. As the song began with its specific and recognizable beat – you looked at me and said, “I dedicate this song to you. I love you.” I don’t recall ever having a tender moment like this and at that time I didn’t want to be anywhere else except where I was – lying with you in my arms taking in the moment and hearing the words all that I can say.

My Ni**aIn the Air Tonight – Phil Collins

We probably shouldn’t have been on the road that night given how high we were. But somehow I knew shit was cool and I didn’t worry about too much. After smoking a joint, drinking a fifth and hanging out that evening we were on the road, top down on the Mitsubishi Eclipse cutting through the warm Dallas air on a clear night. The song has always been a favorite of mine so when it came on we both recognized its brilliance in silence, heads bopping, and the moment was etched in a memory forever. My “boy”, my ni**a, my confidant was born.

Unbreakable BondTribe – Bas & J. Cole

The birth of the moment that I knew we would always be connected no matter what. The road trip proved to be one of spiritual awareness and human connectivity. While it started off as any other moment – filled with apprehension, tension, and uncertainty, it became clear that it was the defining moment in which I saw you grow before my very eyes. We connected in a way that we had never connected before. I recognized our before and after images were vastly different providing a powerful contrast, yet, identical in the same breadth. We both felt the power of what we had experienced and knew that we would always be there for one another.

My Angel on EarthStrawberry Shortcake – The Sky’s the Limit theme music

How can reliving a moment time and time again of the very essence of life given by God as a gift to cherish throughout your lifetime ever get old? It doesn’t. You embody all that was promised to me when I was in need of love. When I knew that life was about to change in a way that was unrecoverable you were conceived. Your spirit embodies your name and you never prove me wrong for the love I unconditionally provide. If ever a simple moment turned into a gargantuan of a mountain it was our time together enjoying a simple yet unforgettable tune that resonated our time together in your young life.

Conditional LoveF**k You – C Lo Green

Anger, disdain, hate and generally pissed at you and the horse you rode in on. Like, really? I don’t quite measure up to your idea of a man that provides, huh? Not the loving companion that showed up in your fantasies? Was I just a sorry-ass waste of a male figure that happen to show up on your doorstep during a desperate moment in your life? Perhaps, but, thankfully, my confidence in who I am and who I get to be will always outweigh the projection put upon me by your own lack of self-worth. For that, I am thankful of the experience.

Go well and with love good peeps.

The Moment Love Happens

I often wonder if my thoughts are uniquely weird or are there others out there that think like me? I mean, sometimes my thoughts take me off the beaten path and I’m unaware of the journey until I pause and reflect where my thoughts have taken me. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good, but albeit, a journey nonetheless. It can happen while I’m watching TV, reading a good story, or doing my business in the men’s room. And then the thought hits me – and that moment of “a-ha!” vibrates my inner being to where I proclaim, Yeah! This is one of those moments – the moment(s) I fell in love.

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Photo by rovenimages.com on Pexels.com

Love is a tricky thing as we all know. There are a gazillion books, articles, and self-help novels guiding us to achieve that elusive goal of love. There are songs, dances, and artistic impressions that guide our minds and motions to experience love. We talk with one another about the origins and the paths love takes us down. But do we ever just reflect on that moment when we fell in love? It’s an incredible visualization of the event when you get it just right – your mind painting a Picasso moment as the sound of trumpets lightly blare in the background. I find myself reliving the still motion picture in mind over and over and over again.

I have one episode loitering my mind where love found it’s way into my heart – I remember it vividly. She and I sat on her couch talking for hours upon hours. The eye contact, the laughter, the familiarity all played a part in stroking the flame that ignited the passion within my soul. It was beyond sexual attraction – although that did exist, but the desire was to have the night last forever. These are the moments you want to freeze in time and pull them up like old microfiche images that captured the very timing of Cupid’s arrow piercing your heart.

And I want to relive the moment time and again.

It doesn’t matter that you might be divorced, broken down, or resentful as hell with the object of your previous love desire – but that moment existed – and you should celebrate the experience it created. Far too many times we let those wonderful moments dwindle in the crevices of our minds because of pain or heartache. I’m here to tell you to bring them back so that you might feel the joy once created.  M A G I C A L

Also note, love isn’t always about that hunk of a guy or sexy ass girl but maybe a friend. The experience is just the same, although the desiring result will vary. Ultimately, it is about that connection made with another individual and your souls agreed to collaborate on a masterpiece that became a friendship of togetherness.

…and that friendship stands the test of time or racism or divisiveness.

It all started with a connection. A simple hello – an introduction – or an abrupt interruption that captured the curiosity of the other. And the mysterious movements of life orchestrated the love concoction that made its way into your hearts. The moment was real and should never be squashed because it is the essence of humankind.

Love is.

Go well and with love good peeps.

The (F)Laws of Attraction

This came up as a memory and I needed the reminder.

Man of Wisdom

We are all familiar with the Laws of Attraction – you know – where you attract what you desire? Well, it has been stated to me by a friend that we are also prone to attract individuals that are at the same level of unhealthiness as we are.

Wait, what?

what-you-talkin-bout-what-you-talkin-bout-willis-memes_470-320

Yup, just like that…the attraction laws go both ways. And that kind of sucks if you ask me. But it makes sense.

Let me try an example: let’s say I have some SERIOUS issues with commitment (hypothetically speaking). These issues keep me from finding a great relationship because I haven’t dealt with them head on. Maybe I have abandonment issues, wasn’t breast fed long enough, or just am anti-social (again, hypothetically speaking).

Then I meet a fine, wonderful, intelligent woman, whom I seem to connect with. However, because I have my own serious issues it is inevitable that our relationship…

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Reflections on Half-a-Century (+)

As I washed up for the weekend and ensured I had my most whitest of my tighties cleaned for whatever might await me on the eve of my biggest day of the year – my birthday – I got to reflecting.

I reflected because I was reminded how lucky I am and how great things are for me. It was a clear moment for me and I thought, “I was money and I didn’t even know it.”  (Swingers) And though I haven’t been feeling so lucky as of late I pontificated about the years gone by and the pretty fabulous life I have lived and what has been bestowed upon me. My conclusion:

I am Blessed.

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My memories swirled through my head like an old 8mm film with the voice of Morgan Freeman narrating (as he always does in my head). My emotions rose like geysers gushing from the Earth  as I sorted through the laundry list of situations and loved ones that made me smile and cry. I peeked in on my sleeping kids and stood in the doorway for a moment – thinking of their futures and the guidance I have given them. And it really finally dawned on me that I am doing okay in life’s fast-paced game.

It isn’t that I don’t have challenges about bills, love, betrayal, or the likes (wait, that sounds like an episode of Empire); but it is the fact that I am still in my right mind to shift. Shift my being to something different. It isn’t a big shift, just a nudge, yet it gives way to those memories that reinforce the good that I have encountered.

So on this eve of me arriving on this planet I reflect on the following:

  • I have a great, supportive family full of love, joy, empathy, and faith.
  • I can smell the fresh summer rain outside my window and take it in like vitamins.
  • I live in a country where I can express my thoughts, feelings, and desires and not be crucified. ‘merica, dammit.
  • I have a nice roof over my head and the heads of my offspring. This blessing should never go unnoticed.
  • I ate a good healthy meal. And even if it wasn’t the healthiest it was still a meal worth eating.
  • I can anticipate the upcoming NFL season – with or without Colin Kaepernick (but I wish him well).

I can give love to my friends and I can receive it in return.

  • I have gained knowledge through education and observation.
  • I am able to work an honest shift and be proud of what I have accomplished.
  • I am can enjoy a great beer or glass of wine or even something harder from time-to-time.
  • And I can write…however I want to, whenever I want to, and to whomever I want to. We can all create something new, every day we are alive.

These few things give me pause as the clock strikes midnight and I go into celebratory mode. I will enjoy those things around me and I will look for the good in life – because I have the power to do so. And for this I am grateful.

Go well and with love good peeps.

And Happy Birthday to me. 🙂

 

Survivors of Marital Bliss

61 Years and Counting…

On May 5, 2017, my parents will celebrate their 61st wedding anniversary.

6 – 1 or sixty-one or seis-uno (okay, I made that up).

But still, 61! The proclamation of this anniversary is not to admit my own years on this planet, although, not near 61, but to expose what it takes to make 61 years of marriage.

Thought bubble: didn’t Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris have a 61 milestone at some point? I digress…

We all have either blessings occur in our lives or a little luck or some combination of the two. We might have good things occur on occasion or bad things that occur in bunches. And every time we overcome those obstacles or celebrate these good times one thing is certain – we made it through.

Making it through isn’t just about you – although you might think it is – but it’s about everything around you. It is how you leave an impact on this world or how you touch (influence) others. And usually we aspire to touch in a positive way.

Therefore, to put in perspective of the magnitude to survive this momentous occasion I want to explore the significance of “making it.” I thought and wrote about one statistic at a time and in no-particular-order; although the first is most significant to me:

  1. Today’s divorce rate is a whopping 50 percent! The odds of making it past year 8 is off the charts – you can take that ‘ish to Vegas, baby. And may the odds be forever in your favor.
  2. Surviving military service during the Korean Conflict and Vietnam War. Downright lucky to have survived both let alone the streets of the inner-city.
  3. Diseases like cancer, diabetes, and all kinds of other bogus shit that crushes us humans daily! To survive the percentages is nothing short of a miracle. logo.png
  4. Car crashes is still a major killer in America. Count yourself lucky if you have avoided a disastrous outcome via unsure hands at the wheel of a steel killing machine.
  5. Natural disasters – thes
    e are easier to avoid if you stay put – but if you’ve traveled the world to Timbuktu and back you are liable to have encountered a disaster or two. Not my folks.
  6. Raising a shit-load of kids and staying the course. Hey, if one of the parental units said, “f- this, I’m out!,” I couldn’t be mad at them.
  7. One in four black men in prison – NOT my daddy!
  8. Shot by a cop – this would have been easy pickings back in rural Mississippi, circa 1950, but, alas, the good Lord was watching out.

And there are multiple other challenges, ahem, “opportunities” [as we like to call them in business] where my parents overcame or luck was on their side for their longevity.

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But I will say this – commitment, perseverance, respect, admiration, being on one accord, and love is the glue that held them these 61 years. And for that, I feel truly blessed to be witnessing this rare occasion. Good job parental units. Well done. I pray God will see you through many more anniversaries.

Now each of you go find your life partner to help you achieve that 61.

Go well and with love good peeps.

 

My Tank’s on ‘E’

I don’t remember when I heard the phrase love [emotional] tank but I do understand the concept of it needing refills on occasion.

It didn’t register with me in the past because I merely thought it was sensitive speak taken from a woman’s magazine, or from that guy that always appeared on Oprah, or just some talk on the street from new-age metro-sexuals. But I must confess over the last few years it has begun to sink in. I have exhausted much of my emotions on my kids, family, friends, co-workers, and others and I have yet to fill up my tank. Therefore, I began feeling the emptiness that existed and the effects of my tank on ‘E’.

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I may be a bit late to the game, especially considering I coin myself a Man of Wisdom, but I am always open to learning and understanding. I remain open to educate myself so that I can learn from past experiences and not repeat the same mistakes…over…and over…and over…and over again!

Better late than never seems an appropriate statement at this juncture.

Therefore, I am now on a journey to fill my tank abundantly! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my tank filled by the love of my kids, family, friends, and co-workers (you know, that work spouse we all brag about), but I tend to go full throttle until my tank is nearly depleted. And this can’t be healthy. For anyone I deal with – kids, family and friends, etc.

I know what a full tank looks like and I know how if feels. I know how it drives me and provides me with the emotional nutrients to sustain me. I recognize when it’s present in me and the effect it has on others around me. I become a beacon of L-O-V-E that burns intensely. And I long for more when already my tank is full to the brim. I can never get enough.

My challenge is to position myself to receive love – because I will be better equipped to give love in return.

There is more than enough love within us to spread across this wonderful space in which we occupy. But somehow, we tend to get caught up with the craziness around us and forget what it really means to love. Fill your emotional love tank to the brim and see how it feels for you – it can’t steer you wrong. There’s nothing like operating with a full tank.

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Go well and with love good peeps.

The Voices in my Head…

 

God is talking to me (in that Morgan Freeman style voice)…

Or it might just be I have voices in my head.

Either way, He or they have my attention. So I’m tuning in to listen.

I can’t be the only one with the voices, right? I mean, I’m not saying they’re telling me horrible things to do – like drink a case of beer or smoke a cigar while standing on my balcony in the nude on a rainy day like today – but just giving me pause. Sometimes they’ll give me direction. Other times they’ll just annoy the hell out of me for something I did wrong.

I’ve heard people give these voices varying descriptions besides the voice of God. Such as:

  • intuition – this is knowing you shouldn’t be out at 3 am ordering a cheeseburger from Jimmy’s and pulling out a stack of fit’ties to pay the tab,
  • the Devil – yeah, he might have a stranglehold on your thoughts but I’m sure he didn’t actually commit the crime…although, that Omen movie might be real Image result for surprise emoji face,
  • your sub-conscious – this is like that experience from the DiCaprio movie Inception except you know it’s not real but it feels real and you actually think it’s real (is this even real??),
  • your Ex – okay, not everyone compares the voices to an Ex but you somehow still feel the nagging sound effects of the arguments you once had,
  • your mother – not sure if this is an actual experience or more of a commentator role…but to each his or her own,
  • the teacher from Charlie Brown – it’s the gibberish “yak, yak, yak, yak, yak” and you’re like STFU!!!! (please!)

These are just a few versions of the voices in my head (and others according to today’s modern therapist). You might have other owners for your voices and that’s okay. Just own them for yourself, and don’t let them lead you astray. And be thankful that you can talk about the voices because 2000 years ago you would have been stoned for bringing this subject to light. Alas, I feel brave enough to have tackled the hard and controversial subjects affecting our society.

In the meantime, try attaching a narrator with a pleasant or appropriate sound to your voices. There are plenty of them out there (Morgan, James Earl Jones, Samuel L Jackson – hm, I sense a trend in my voice narration selection…) that will fit the bill. Because, if you gotta listen to the K-FUC radio in your head it might as well be soothing (until you figure out how to turn it off).

Go well and with love good peeps.

The (F)Laws of Attraction

We are all familiar with the Laws of Attraction – you know – where you attract what you desire? Well, it has been stated to me by a friend that we are also prone to attract individuals that are at the same level of unhealthiness as we are.

Wait, what?

what-you-talkin-bout-what-you-talkin-bout-willis-memes_470-320

Yup, just like that…the attraction laws go both ways. And that kind of sucks if you ask me. But it makes sense.

Let me try an example: let’s say I have some SERIOUS issues with commitment (hypothetically speaking). These issues keep me from finding a great relationship because I haven’t dealt with them head on. Maybe I have abandonment issues, wasn’t breast fed long enough, or just am anti-social (again, hypothetically speaking).

Then I meet a fine, wonderful, intelligent woman, whom I seem to connect with. However, because I have my own serious issues it is inevitable that our relationship will reveal her OWN serious issues! Her issues might not be the same as mine – maybe she can’t manage her money or she’s irresponsible – but the LEVEL of unhealthiness of her problems rival the unhealthy level of my own issues.

So we find ourselves in a conundrum. We like the person but we don’t want to deal with their crap nor do they want to deal with our crap. And we want to start attracting healthy individuals. So, what to do?

Get your shit together, son!

Yup, it’s about that simple. Decrease the level of unhealthy issues holding you back in life. Rebuke that ‘ish in the name of Jesus! Or find a hypnotist to help you rid yourself of your issues, or at least bring the levels down to something more manageable.

Therefore, I decided to create a short 5-step program [based on my experience as a PM] to battle these challenges:

  1. Become self-aware – take a moment to recognize your flaws. We all have them so don’t pretend you don’t. The first step to anything is recognizing you have something to deal with. Write them down and face them head on.
  2. Evaluate your flaw(s) – not all flaws are created equal, know what it is you are dealing with and determine how serious of an issue it is for YOU! No one else matters when we evaluate ourselves, so be honest and accept what it is you get to tackle.
  3. Make a plan – it doesn’t have to be in writing but it should be something that becomes tangible. Enroll in a self-help group, find a good therapist, or join a gym, no matter what it is just think of a plan for you.
  4. Execute the plan! – A plan is just a plan until you actually put it into practice. It doesn’t matter if you fail just start it. Starting is hard but it really is a matter of setting your intention and let your actions follow your thoughts.
  5. Review your progress – like any good plan-of-action a periodic review and establishing check points is a helpful way to keep your progress moving forward. I usually ask myself daily where I believe I am in my restoration process.

Don’t expect to rid yourself completely of your flaw but manage it to where it becomes a mole hill and not a mountain.

Now go out there and find a healthy love – one that is on YOUR level!

In the end, it’s always a good idea to work on who we are as individuals. However, we are always afraid to face our short-comings and we usually act like we don’t have them. But we do. And that’s okay as long as you recognize, devise a plan to deal with them, and then do it.

I, for one, will start right now.

Go well and with love good peeps.