Month: February 2015

Leave a comment Posted on Life

Relax and Let it Flow

photo (12)

Some days you just want to sit somewhere in silence. You merely want to observe the beauty around you and absorb it like a sponge. You allow your mind to relax your and allow thoughts to enter. Thoughts about anything and everything. Your problems. Your solutions. Your desires. Your needs. Your loves.

And once you allow these thoughts to overtake your emotions you may cry. You might laugh at the thought of your child’s crazy antics. You may feel saddened by the loss of a loved one. Or perhaps you are overwhelmed with a high pressure job. But you can’t help that the thoughts overtake you. And you find yourself letting out emotions that grew like weeds in the crevices of your most inner thoughts as they consumed your psyche over a period of time. It happens. Let it happen.

Then you bring your mind back to the current moment. You let out a big sigh of relief. It is this moment the healing can begin. Life is going to hand us challenges, how we manage those challenges is up to us but it is always best to exercise your mind so that you might become stronger as you deal with life’s challenges. Finding the right place where you can allow the magic to occur is key.

I have found my place now go find yours.

Go well and with love good peeps.

2 Comments Posted on Dating

How Do You Decide?

3d_red_question_mark_button_image_165506

Choices, choices and more choices surrounded by decisions, decisions, and more decisions amidst a complicated landscape of relationships. My mind is overwhelmed as my time is limited yet the thought of sharing and giving remains an innate part of my overall being. Thus, the desire to connect in some type of way (apparently I’m feeling some type of way) is continually vying for my attention and demanding I take action. All actions will result in reactions.

Therefore, how do I decide?

Relationships are a mutha; let alone our relationships with our kids, parents, siblings, friends, etc. Yet, our makeup as human beings relies heavily on our ability to create relationships and sustain them. When you think about it – it is a very selfish act. The intended result is to satisfy the bubbling need to connect which is within all of us. Of course, you are free to live a nomadic or reclusive life and rid yourself of any true human connection.

Most of us don’t want to be reclusive – or alone. Therefore, we find ways in which we connect through church, extracurricular activities, and other social functions. Upon connecting we develop and nurture a relationship with another individual hoping for great things to come. And ultimately we sustain a long lasting relationship in which we can look back over time and proudly reflect on the journey it took to achieve that pinnacle. I imagine a Gandhi like figure sitting atop the mountain overlooking a serene and beautiful valley while mind, body, and spirit are one with God.

But before I become so Gandhi-like, I still need to decide, make a choice; take action as it relates to engaging in a meaningful relationship.

So here’s where I become creative and design a process (I know, it’s so “business” talk).

  1. Be deliberate in my actions and desires. This method is very Neanderthal-like; I knock you on the head with my club, throw you over my shoulder, and wander off into the sunset heading for my cave. A bit outdated (and quite illegal) but the intended result is achieved.
  2. I sit back and wait for a line to form as women anticipate meeting me… (crickets, crickets) Yeah, this has a very low probability for success but nonetheless, it’s an option.
  3. I can always let the chips fall as they may. There is absolutely no control in this method and I leave it all to the “universe” to guide me. What happens if the universe says “No RELATIONSHIP for you!?” (In my Nazi Soup Kitchen voice.)
  4. I can devise a very scientific approach to understanding the landscape of choices and then act on those choices very methodically. Oh, wait, eHarmony and Match.com have the patent on this method.
  5. Pray my way into a relationship. Somehow, I see this as very similar to #3 above, but this “universe” is a true serving God. However, other complications can be debated with this method (religious beliefs, science, etc.)

Finally, as I sit back and think about these methods to become engaged in a relationship the fog clears from my head and I listen to the voice directing me – be still my child. I come to the realization that I can’t force the magic of a relationship but I should anticipate its ability to be present when I least expect it. During this time my focus becomes inward as I rid myself of the skeletons and complexities I’ve created to become a renewed man. This I can live with.

Go well and with love good peeps.

Leave a comment Posted on Humor

Mr Daniel Will See you now

1390662975_50-shades-of-grey-official-movie-poster_1

The long anticipated opening of the aforementioned movie is opening this weekend – Valentine’s Day. What a display of precision marketing along with the hype to get the women swooning over a storyline older than Medusa. It isn’t anything new about the freakiness in all of us, it just needs to be brought out by the right individual (according to some).

Personally, I wouldn’t put myself in this category because I pride myself on my Puritan attitude and behavior (read sarcasm, folks). But I couldn’t stop wondering what other kinds of movies have been around where erotic SEX seemed to be the focus. And full disclosure – I may see the movie if only to witness the reaction from the audience during the hot steamy sex scenes.

Take a walk with me down memory lane to recall some of these classic sex tales:

  1. Nine 1/2 Weeks (1986) – Synopsis: A woman gets involved in an impersonal affair with a man. She barely knows about his life, only about the sex games they play, so the relationship begins to get complicated. Commentary: I could barely get through this movie because I thought is was awful; however, Kim Basinger was at her prime and that didn’t hurt too carry the movie.
  2. Body Heat (1981) – Synopsis: In the midst of a searing Florida heat wave, a woman convinces her lover, a small-town lawyer, to murder her rich husband. Commentary: Good film, good acting, and it was pretty steamy.
  3. Basic Instinct (1992) – Synopsis: A police detective is in charge of the investigation of a brutal murder, in which a beautiful and seductive woman could be involved. Commentary: Sharon Stone is hot, hot, hot. Every man in America waited on the edge of their seat for “leg cross.” Two thumbs up!
  4. Eyes Wide Shut (1999) – Synopsis: A New York City doctor, who is married to an art curator, pushes himself on a harrowing and dangerous night-long odyssey of sexual and moral discovery after his wife admits that she once almost cheated on him. Commentary: Bizarre movie but it had Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman what more do you need? Besides, it was Stanley Kubrick’s last released movie.
  5. Sex, Lies, and Videotape (1989) – Synopsis: A sexually repressed woman’s husband is having an affair with her sister. The arrival of a visitor with a rather unusual fetish changes everything. Commentary: When you start a conversation with the word “repressed” the imagination can go wild. This fetish movie had some nice twists to it and it grew on folks.
  6. Caligula (1979) – Synopsis: A film focusing on the rise and fall of the Roman Emperor Caligula. Commentary: If you like movies not only about sex, but blood and guts violence this is your movie. Tough to get through for me.
  7. American Gigolo (1980) – Synopsis: The ups and downs in the life of a Los Angeles male escort who mostly caters to an older female clientèle. Commentary: By far, one of the most erotic type of films specifically made for the ladies. Richard Gere the heartthrob of American movies.

This is merely my list of titles that I have seen and somewhat enjoyed. However, I am curious as to what yours might be – feel free to add to this list. Otherwise, go out and have an erotically good time at the movies.

Go well and with love good peeps.

Leave a comment Posted on Humor

I Done Peed My Pants (or How I Mastered Mind over Matter)

Have you ever had to go to the bathroom so bad that you begin doing the antsy dance the closer you get to the urinal? You know that movement we have all done where we are jiving and jerking our way as we approach the stall. And when we are close it feels so far away. There is only an additional few seconds needed to completely loosen our belts and buckles, unzip or pull down, and squat or stand – thanking the Almighty that you didn’t pee on yourself. Whew.

And sometimes we aren’t so lucky.

I’m not talking about as how I might not have been as lucky as a grown man but as a young boy. I recall walking home from school years ago and I was experiencing the moment of truth. I was rushing as fast as I could that was humanely possible for an 8 year old to get home. I recall I was only steps away from my home when I couldn’t stand it no more. BTW, I’m talking having to use #2, not #1. Alas, I was unable to make it all the way. (Insert sad face)

Shame spread across me and I felt I couldn’t face my mom. I was so nervous going home I desperately tried to figure out how to explain what occurred that afternoon. My mind raced as my pants – well – were soaked. This memory sticks with me today and I vowed to never do that again.

So I devised a technique for control. I implemented the mind over matter concept to achieve this greatness. Mastering this feat is no small task and only the manliest of men or the womanist of women should take heed. This is only for the strong. You ask how? Let me tell you how…

  1. Deep breaths – as you feel you are approaching the moment take deep breaths. This does wonders for slowing your body down.
  2. Alternate your thoughts – think of something else besides doing the do. Whether its baseball or other fantasies find something that takes your mind to another place.
  3. Relax – as you find yourself relaxing you gain control of your body.
  4. Pep talk yourself – YOU CAN DO IT! Okay, you have to do it. If you don’t it won’t be a pretty sight.

These are just a few things that I have done over the years. Unfortunately, the urge to pee comes to grown men and women as well so the techniques are good for a lifetime. However, let me state that these techniques are useless should you a) find yourself drinking all night, b) have bladder issues [go see a doc, cuz!], c) constantly forget to go pee, or d) find yourself traveling with no rest stop in sight. Good luck to you.

Don’t be ashamed should you experience “leakage.” Yeah, it’s not cool but sh*t happens. Otherwise, carry around a pack of Depends and call it a day. There are worst things to overcome in life.

Go well and with love good peeps.

Leave a comment Posted on Kids, Life

I’m In Love with the Coco!

Imagine hearing your young kids, gleefully, energetically and with gusto singing a Hip-Hop song with the title above. Imagine them laughing innocently to the parody YouTube videos showing people drinking cocoa, snorting cocoa, or doing other things with cocoa. Now think about how catchy the tune might be and how it might stick in your mind. Shortly you might find yourself humming and singing, “I’m in love wit da coco!” while you are be-bopping your head like Jay-Z. [Coco Video]

And then you realize what the song is about. And the light-bulb goes on.

Now you think, “Uh-oh.”

This happened to me. However, before I impulsively jumped on the hypocrite bandwagon declaring that all Hip-Hop and Rap music is from the Devil and that our young people are doomed, I caught myself thinking back to my youth recalling songs where drugs were either explicitly or implicitly cited. And lo and behold a number of songs came flooding back into my memory without me having to Google the subject.

Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll…and Hip-Hop…and Country…etc.

So here is my simple list of songs that came to mind for me:

  • Cocaine – Eric Clapton
  • Got to Get You Into My Life – The Beatles
  • Molly – Tyga
  • Flying High Again – Ozzy Ozbourne
  • Pusherman – Curtis Mayfield
  • White Lines – Grand Master Flash
  • White Rabbit – Jefferson Airplane
  • Purple Haze – Jimmy Hendrix

And a whole bunch from the Red Hot Chili Peppers!

I am not only familiar with these songs but I know most of them by heart. Some of the songs are older and others more current. There are a variety of genres and artists. And, of course, they are not all Hip-Hop. Drug songs.

Thus, it’s easy to look down on certain classes of people based on our own experiences, but this is one area where we don’t have to look any further than the mirror before we judge. And what is even more interesting is how musicians have been singing about drugs for a long time – even before Rock & Roll. We all have some accountability in this as we have bought the records, tapes (8 track or cassette), CDs, etc.

More importantly, as we get older and have the tendency to frown upon such songs (admit it, you do) and artist we find ourselves recalling the very same type of song from our own childhoods. The conundrum we find ourselves is perplexing – what example are we showing our youth?

In my case, fortunately my kids are still too young to understand what the song is about – although I’m sure someone will blurt it out at some point. I can either get ahead of this potential situation or I can be ready to address it after the fact. At some point I have to address it.

But right now I just enjoy the innocence in which they operate and I wish I could freeze the moment. Heaven knows what I will be dealing with after they realize the nature of the song. Sigh.

Now go have yourself a hot-cocoa and enjoy the music.

Go well and with love good peeps.

2 Comments Posted on Humor

Snowmageddon 2015 – A Short Story

10968335_10205191567643331_5455417035096033230_n

Day 23 and no signs of life on the tough streets of Chicago. My food supply is low and my liquor is depleted. Oh, the humanity.

My journey home was horrific as I had to wait for the #4 Cottage Grove bus in blizzard-like conditions as I left my Super Bowl party. (It was quite fun I might add.) The bus approached and I gingerly boarded holding tightly onto what little belongings I had left as to protect them from the other tired and angry riders. As I approached my stop after the 3 minute commute I could see my street into the distant. I was nearly home. I looked up into the night sky and exalted, “My God, Thank you!”

My hope was not lost as I dredged through the knee-high snow toward my humble abode. I shivered as the cruel snow repeatedly slapped me in the face. I hoped for deliverance as the final 1/4 mile loomed through the frozen over-priced condos of the Hyde Park neighborhood. And it happened as swiftly as my thoughts came rushing, the connecting bus sped past me while I was lost in my pain. No!, I screamed as the local Jeffrey zoomed past the snow drifts like they were small speed bumps that had outgrown their usefulness. Why? Why?

I was now dejected. I was ready to lie down and let the elements take me in my current form: pathetic, hurt, and disenfranchised.

But HOPE did happen.

And out of the night sky a light reflected in my eyes. No, not an oncoming vehicle but the street lamp of my block. I mustered up the little energy I had to endure the elements and make my final steps towards that light. It’s warm glow fueled me and I headed in that direction. I finally came to rest on the steps of my pad, frozen and broken but alive. My journey during Snowmageddon Chicago will forever remain in history as the day I found the strength to overcome. I smiled and let out a sigh of relief.

Next time I’m gonna drive. Screw this.

Go well and with love good peeps.