Dating

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More Dates, Please…

I was sitting alone in my thoughts, as I am likely to do, a warmth flashed through my chest due to beautifully reminiscent thoughts about some of my past dating experiences. It was the kind of warmth that paved a way to a non-judgmental experience of another individual completely based on the lovely encounter we had during our date. My smiling, as I sat alone on a bus stop bench, might have seemed a bit weird from a regular passerby, but for me, it was the essence of what I was feeling at that exact moment in time while I reflected on these transcendent periods in my life that would never be forgotten. It reminded me of the connection, humanity, and awesomeness of two (or more if you’re into that – no judgement) people can have when they dismiss their own desires in hopes of finding a meaningful and lifelong connection through dating.

Therefore, my heavy thinking, without the heavy breathing, took me to a place in my mind to relive some of these fabulous moments. And like any great moment, we are akin to rating the moment against other moments and time. Let me invite you along for the ride with me and my ranking of my most beautiful dates in my life.

Disclaimer: Not all dates led to marriage, a relationship, or even sex (not that I was against it) but merely allowed me to appreciate the individual during that romantic, soft, enjoyable, and memorable moment. IJS…

Staying present was the key and having a genuine interest in connection to the person, not the date, was paramount. My heart is full, once again, as I get to relive these moments.

My Top 5 (in no particular order, but, hey, it may appear that way based on how my thoughts are hitting the keypads on my keyboard)…

  1. Laser Light Show to Journey
    • Somewhere on the campus of MSU an energetic display of colorful lasers crossed paths and challenged mental boundaries as lasers of the ’80’s took the form of entertainment for the youth of the era. Memorable to say the least. However, being high as a kite had it’s benefits.
  2. Dinner under the rain
    • When the conversation is amazing, the vibe is unreal, outside temps are cooling, and a downpour of rain with thunder as a backdrop, which you both adore, occurs. Sparks fly and the connection is established like no other. Simple, yet, elegant. It’s almost as if we were dancing in the rain. Superb.
  3. Marriage proposal
    • Mexican restaurant with bomb margaritas, an otherwise normal atmosphere, but the feeling of connection that started the fire towards a marriage will always be remembered as a tear ran down her cheek as I expressed my most vulnerable self. And yes, I married this date, and now divorced, but the moment will always be etched in history.
  4. Korean BBQ hits a homerun
    • Who would have thought cooking your own food could lead to such an amazing experience? Not I. Taken a bit by surprise to what the night had to offer, I couldn’t help but be in awe of the date and the atmosphere. I would cook my own food in a restaurant 1 out of 5 times to recreate the moment captured. Riveting.
  5. The Lake Shore drive experience
    • If you have NEVER experienced driving down Chicago’s DuSable/Lake Shore Drive (#chicagolakeshoredrive) you have not experienced one of the most incredibly scenic urban drives in the world. And when you are fresh off a date of Japanese cuisine and the cabbie is driving for you while you and your date share an embrace throughout, then you just haven’t lived. Start living.

Honorable Mentions:

  1. First kiss on the Chicago “L” Platform – the train is burrowing by but your focused on the kiss that takes your mind to a different place. Surreal.
  2. Attending Les Miserables – one of the greatest theatre performances of all time and to view it with a lookalike from the Titanic movie – Kate Winslet – it was sure to be memorable. However, the gazillion dollar price tag of a dinner and theatre keeps this from cracking my Top 5.
  3. Speakeasy entrance – when you’re part of the Kool Kids and the entrance to the club is through an empty barbershop and the drinks are top shelf. Sign me up any day of the week. #celebritystatus
  4. Facetime date across the US – She’s beautiful, the restaurant exists in both locations, the flowers arrive on time, and the drinks and dinner are served, accordingly. It’s the next best thing to being there in person. Namaste (praying hands graphic 😉 )
  5. Double kisses outside of the Junior High – What’s a walk outside of middle school with a group of friends, including your bestie, when you have the opportunity to experience your first kiss, first girlfriend? I wouldn’t trade it for a thing, although, I only had about a buck…29 in my pocket. Thankful for middle school pleasures.

In all of my 30 years of living (plus or minus a number of years of experience) I have had the pleasure, mostly, of going on my fair share of dates. In most instances, each was a great experience, however, there may have been a few duds that I wiped from the canvas of my memories. Again, no judgement, as I’m sure the datee might have thought the same [e.g., “WTF am I wasting my time with this LOSER!!”]. Hey, we all can’t bat a 1000.

I’m appreciative of what life has given to me, taught me, and exposed to me along this journey. My desire is to continue to pass on my experience and that it might touch others in a positive way and remind others of the wonderful experiences life has for us if we only take a moment to reminisce. Granted, challenges will continue to take center stage but do not get caught up in the web of discouragement that is often attached to these challenges. Instead, allow yourself to relive those moments, or vicariously through others if you must, so you can partake in the enjoyments of dating, as well.

I’d love to hear about some of your best dating experiences. Feel free to drop in a comment or email me. Love is ALWAYS a beautiful thing.

Go well and with love good peeps.

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I Said What I Said

Recently I made a social media snafu, I guess I haven’t been on my “A” game as of late, and I posted a pic of me on a site with the following caption: “I want something special – a great connection.” An unintended cryptic message that caught the fancy of naysayers’ responses exclaiming that I wasn’t shit as a man looking for a relationship because I couldn’t even provide a more detailed response than what I did. So I edited the caption with a bit more detail that answered the original post’s question, “Men—Post A Pic And Be Specific About What Kind Of Relationship You Want.”

“I want something special – a great connection”

My lazy and unthoughtful ass couldn’t even muster up the creativity to provide more of a snapshot to my inner soul’s desire on the type of mate I would want and the type of man I would be if said mate would have me. No, I was a degenerate type of dude that didn’t think about anyone else but himself, so clearly I would drag a willing female through my mud and darkness while never providing a clear indication that the relationship (or supposed relationship) was on a road to nowhere.

Silly me to think otherwise. My fraudulent actions could not disguise my inner dog tendencies with this crowd of insightful women, so many let me have it. But, unlike Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” law and for me to state with bravado – I SAID WHAT I SAID! – I acquiesced to the pitchfork crowd and provided more fodder for the post.

It was received with a mix bag. 🥹

Don’t get me wrong, there were many people that had an understanding of where my thoughts were headed and they didn’t see me in the shrouded light of confusion and as a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but that I might have been genuine in my thoughts. And I was.

However, there is nothing wrong for me to self-assess, look in Michael Jackson’s metaphorical mirror, and start with what kind of man/mate I want to be and announce it to the world. In our current social climate, it is so much easier to stand your ground and believe everyone else is evil while you are the saint or good Christian you envision, wearing the mask of righteousness without truly considering the implications of such a stance. But it is so much harder to reflect on who you are, warts and all, and deal with them head-on, facing uncomfortable truths that may lurk just beneath the surface. It’s not that everyone has to like you or even hang out with you; however, cultivating a genuine understanding of oneself can lead to more meaningful connections and interactions with others. At the core of this self-discovery is the essential notion of authenticity—letting the world see your vulnerabilities and strengths alike. Accepting oneself fully paves the way for others to see your light, allowing them to accept you for who you truly are, which can foster deeper relationships based on mutual respect and understanding. Embracing this journey is ultimately a testament to personal growth, enabling both yourself and those around you to flourish.

I usually don’t put myself out there like that on the socials in effort to avoid the criticism I might receive. But, in this case, I was truly genuine in my thoughts on how I desire a connection so strong that all of my worldly desires of the flesh are merely secondary to the unexplainable metaphysical connection that I have witnessed in other relationships. The attraction, vibe, connection, or soulmativness (yes, I just invented this word) of another individual can be so deep that the mere presence of that individual lights you up like a cannon. It can be a beautiful thing in any kind of relationship – with my family, kids, friends – and even a mate. For that I might stand my ground and say, I said what I said – with the caveat – because I believe in something special.

Go well and with love good peeps.

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The Friend Zone Dilemma

I am positive we have all experienced the dreaded “Friend Zone” reference at some point in our existence. Generally speaking, it isn’t typically associated with positive connotations and is more associated with “losing the race.” However, this is because we don’t normally wrap our minds around the dilemma, how it came to be, and the circumstances surrounding it. My challenge in this writing is to explore the positive nature of this dilemma. Full disclosure – I could be completely off-base and the friend zone is the most terrible and dreadful place you may find yourself. IJS…

When starting a relationship, whether platonic, accidentally, or with purpose, we set out on a journey to better understand the person in which we are engaging. The start can be fueled by so many various components that it’s not one simple path that gets us to the starting gate. Attraction, by far, is the most traveled path, while someone’s aura may be the least (only because it’s a difficult attribute to tap into). Whatever the initial flame the outcome in this…ahem…”study” is the results in the two people becoming friends.

The other aspect of this journey is when the friend zone takes place. In most cases you look up and realize the zone you are in is that zone and your feeling of perplex remains unsolved. It’s like turning left when you should have turned right. Or getting off the bus at the wrong stop because you were caught up in the moment. Or thinking you killed that exam only to find out you scored 5 out of 50 (yes, that can happen!).

The most glaring oxymoron pertaining to a friendship is the admission we want to find our best friend and be with them forever. Good luck with that. As fate usually has it we either end up in the friend zone or we become estranged as we find ourselves growing apart from a friendship we once had.

I once had an ex-partner exclaim to me that we would be the best of friends if we weren’t in a relationship.

Our peeps that end up in our own friend zones have become friends that we can share with, laugh with, celebrate with, and commune with. Yet, somewhere along this relationship building exercise the transformation occurred. But, if we are on the opposite end of that trajectory we don’t focus on the positive aspects of where the journey took us and the lasting relationship formed but the negative aspect of where we found ourselves. In the meantime, the lasting beauty of that newly formed relationship may be one of the best relationships we have experienced.

Therefore, I want to cherish the beauty of the journey and accept the intended outcome as designed by the universe. I will be intentional about openness to those that might qualify as a friend, especially as a partner, and enjoy the friendship journey as it unfolds. No remorse.

I will not close the door on the possibilities of the future, meaning, not to view the friend zone as a permanent address, but merely an opportunity to grow further in the relationship. Stranger things have happened. I know people that grew into friends and found life giving them both a rich experience full of positive outcomes. In a world full of divorce, deceit, lying, cheating, and hate how can we not welcome the love of an everlasting friendship?

“The IDEA of love is only temporary if not fueled by a level of committed love

that comes from a true friendship.” – Me

I can only hope for a future in where I find a partner that I can relate, while building a love bond that becomes unshakable. The thought of that person will propel me to act and behave as I would do with my best friend. It’s not an easy path to achieve, but it is desirable. Therefore, I purposely choose to rise above the dilemma with the hope of building a better partnership no matter the outcome.

Go well and with love good peeps.

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The Moment Love Happens

I often wonder if my thoughts are uniquely weird or are there others out there that think like me? I mean, sometimes my thoughts take me off the beaten path and I’m unaware of the journey until I pause and reflect where my thoughts have taken me. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good, but albeit, a journey nonetheless. It can happen while I’m watching TV, reading a good story, or doing my business in the men’s room. And then the thought hits me – and that moment of “a-ha!” vibrates my inner being to where I proclaim, Yeah! This is one of those moments – the moment(s) I fell in love.

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Photo by rovenimages.com on Pexels.com

Love is a tricky thing as we all know. There are a gazillion books, articles, and self-help novels guiding us to achieve that elusive goal of love. There are songs, dances, and artistic impressions that guide our minds and motions to experience love. We talk with one another about the origins and the paths love takes us down. But do we ever just reflect on that moment when we fell in love? It’s an incredible visualization of the event when you get it just right – your mind painting a Picasso moment as the sound of trumpets lightly blare in the background. I find myself reliving the still motion picture in mind over and over and over again.

I have one episode loitering my mind where love found it’s way into my heart – I remember it vividly. She and I sat on her couch talking for hours upon hours. The eye contact, the laughter, the familiarity all played a part in stroking the flame that ignited the passion within my soul. It was beyond sexual attraction – although that did exist, but the desire was to have the night last forever. These are the moments you want to freeze in time and pull them up like old microfiche images that captured the very timing of Cupid’s arrow piercing your heart.

And I want to relive the moment time and again.

It doesn’t matter that you might be divorced, broken down, or resentful as hell with the object of your previous love desire – but that moment existed – and you should celebrate the experience it created. Far too many times we let those wonderful moments dwindle in the crevices of our minds because of pain or heartache. I’m here to tell you to bring them back so that you might feel the joy once created.  M A G I C A L

Also note, love isn’t always about that hunk of a guy or sexy ass girl but maybe a friend. The experience is just the same, although the desiring result will vary. Ultimately, it is about that connection made with another individual and your souls agreed to collaborate on a masterpiece that became a friendship of togetherness.

…and that friendship stands the test of time or racism or divisiveness.

It all started with a connection. A simple hello – an introduction – or an abrupt interruption that captured the curiosity of the other. And the mysterious movements of life orchestrated the love concoction that made its way into your hearts. The moment was real and should never be squashed because it is the essence of humankind.

Love is.

Go well and with love good peeps.

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The (F)Laws of Attraction

We are all familiar with the Laws of Attraction – you know – where you attract what you desire? Well, it has been stated to me by a friend that we are also prone to attract individuals that are at the same level of unhealthiness as we are.

Wait, what?

what-you-talkin-bout-what-you-talkin-bout-willis-memes_470-320

Yup, just like that…the attraction laws go both ways. And that kind of sucks if you ask me. But it makes sense.

Let me try an example: let’s say I have some SERIOUS issues with commitment (hypothetically speaking). These issues keep me from finding a great relationship because I haven’t dealt with them head on. Maybe I have abandonment issues, wasn’t breast fed long enough, or just am anti-social (again, hypothetically speaking).

Then I meet a fine, wonderful, intelligent woman, whom I seem to connect with. However, because I have my own serious issues it is inevitable that our relationship will reveal her OWN serious issues! Her issues might not be the same as mine – maybe she can’t manage her money or she’s irresponsible – but the LEVEL of unhealthiness of her problems rival the unhealthy level of my own issues.

So we find ourselves in a conundrum. We like the person but we don’t want to deal with their crap nor do they want to deal with our crap. And we want to start attracting healthy individuals. So, what to do?

Get your shit together, son!

Yup, it’s about that simple. Decrease the level of unhealthy issues holding you back in life. Rebuke that ‘ish in the name of Jesus! Or find a hypnotist to help you rid yourself of your issues, or at least bring the levels down to something more manageable.

Therefore, I decided to create a short 5-step program [based on my experience as a PM] to battle these challenges:

  1. Become self-aware – take a moment to recognize your flaws. We all have them so don’t pretend you don’t. The first step to anything is recognizing you have something to deal with. Write them down and face them head on.
  2. Evaluate your flaw(s) – not all flaws are created equal, know what it is you are dealing with and determine how serious of an issue it is for YOU! No one else matters when we evaluate ourselves, so be honest and accept what it is you get to tackle.
  3. Make a plan – it doesn’t have to be in writing but it should be something that becomes tangible. Enroll in a self-help group, find a good therapist, or join a gym, no matter what it is just think of a plan for you.
  4. Execute the plan! – A plan is just a plan until you actually put it into practice. It doesn’t matter if you fail just start it. Starting is hard but it really is a matter of setting your intention and let your actions follow your thoughts.
  5. Review your progress – like any good plan-of-action a periodic review and establishing check points is a helpful way to keep your progress moving forward. I usually ask myself daily where I believe I am in my restoration process.

Don’t expect to rid yourself completely of your flaw but manage it to where it becomes a mole hill and not a mountain.

Now go out there and find a healthy love – one that is on YOUR level!

In the end, it’s always a good idea to work on who we are as individuals. However, we are always afraid to face our short-comings and we usually act like we don’t have them. But we do. And that’s okay as long as you recognize, devise a plan to deal with them, and then do it.

I, for one, will start right now.

Go well and with love good peeps.

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How to Avoid Love: A User’s Guide

I have become an expert at masking feelings, not showing all of my cards, or just not having an ounce of emotion flowing through my veins. In sports it’s a good thing – “that boy has ice water flowing through his veins;” in relationships, uh, not so much. Let me preface this article by stating that I am not a SME [subject matter expert for non-corporate types] nor have I ever slept at a Holiday Inn proving that I’ve gained some universal knowledge about the subject. I just simply like to think out loud and capture that shit in a blog.

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I’ve noticed through various exploits and other accidental mishaps that I’ve become a stone of a man. Maybe it was all of the Jägermeister I drank, drunk, consumed throughout my life but somehow I seem to have become devoid of feeling. Now I don’t mean feelings for my kids or my mama don’t creep up every now and again, but feelings that are expected in relationships. Don’t get me wrong – I want to have these feelings percolating through my being but they just don’t seem to be happening. Therefore, I thought it best if I just prescribe how I deal in hopes of providing some kind of guide to the other misguided and disenfranchised men out there in dating land. NOTE: in the words of the great Jimmy V, “don’t ever give up, don’t ever give up,” (even though it might appear that I have by writing this column).

The Guide

  1. Avoid prolonged and unnecessary eye contact when out on a date. She’ll give you those puppy dog eyes and next thing you know you’ll be buying rounds for the whole got-damn bar!
  2. Do not engage in small talk after work. I get it. You’re tired, you wish you had someone to talk to. You want to be heard. But, don’t give in. It’s better to stay silent and go into listening mode rather than engage in the fact that your co-worker is an ass and it’s getting on your last nerve.
  3. Ignore compliments – even though they feel reeeaaaalllll good. Let’s face it men, we’re like women in this way in that we want to hear how good we look, how strong we are, or how well we screw. Those are all compliments that get the best of us. And before long you’ll have a hoop through your nose while being strung along like a pregnant mule. But hey, if you’re happy about that I’m not one to judge.
  4. Say stupid shit. Like this blog. And you’ll be sure to avoid any possibility of love seeping into your heart and you being captured like a wild boar. Image result for roasting boar cartoon Roasting over a flame. In the middle of a jungle. Lost.  Damn, that imagery just sucks.
  5. Never, and I mean never, bring your kids around. God knows, she’ll do some nice stuff, the kids will be impressed, then you’ll hear about her for a long time to come. Better to keep the kids guessing.
  6. Get a job! Shit, any job. Three jobs. Stay busy. If you just do that you’ll stay lonely like a mutha. (Just buy a lot of those magazines like The Source or Smut.)
  7. Follow the relationship advice of our male compadres. We don’t usually fare well in this arena so it would only make sense that you’d listen to the gibberish coming out of the mouth of your bro; because your bro is so knowledgeable about sport’s and statistics it makes sense he knows about the opposite sex.
  8. And finally, don’t be such a mama’s boy. How can you turn your back on a woman you damn near fell in love with if your mama says, “so-and-so is such a nice girl?” Before you know it you’ll be saying “yes, dear” for many years to come.

And finally, follow Steve Martin’s “Lonely Guy” for further advice.

Image result for steve martin lonely guy

Go well and with non-love good peeps.

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I Used to Love You…But I’m Good

I remember the exact moment when our eyes first gazed. I had beautiful thoughts of you run through my mind as my mind imagined “us.” I envisioned you and me in a foreign land laughing, talking, and foreseeing the future as one. I felt your presence in my spirit as our brief encounter seemed like an eternity. However, it was only brief as I was introduced to you, but I remember the feeling well – euphoric.

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As I made my acquaintance I remember the feeling of your skin as I reached for your hand. Because I am a renaissance man I chose to kiss your hand as a sign of respect as well as a chance to feel your silky smooth skin grace my lips while briefly catching the scent of your perfume for the day. What was that? Jean Paul Gaultier’s Classique? Or maybe it was your natural scent that danced around my nose and awakened me like a splash of cold water on a hot summer day.

I did not want to release your hand for I believed you would be mine. I wanted to run through the building with you in tow down to the fountains hidden behind the finely manicured greenery purposely placed to welcome in guest of the building. And I thought to myself “this is where we will have our first kiss.”

Your laugh and giggle tingled my spine as you sheepishly flirted with me while I gently released your hand. I glimpsed your bright smile and I was overcome with an emotion I had not felt before. The smile of a goddess right before my eyes. And if you had noticed, albeit a very brief nano-second, you would have seen how I lost my cool, calm, and collective demeanor all because of your smile. I nearly melted away.

We exchanged meaningless pleasantries as we both tried to contain the obvious metaphysical connection we were experiencing – hoping not to expose our true feelings to one another. But the bystanders knew because of the energy we shared created an aura around us like a firefly at night. You and I had forgotten we were among friends as the world seemed to stop for the moment as we took in every detail of one another.

And as I walked away I knew. I just knew. That someday we would be in an embrace sharing our vows and professing our love for each other to the world. As the sun is inevitable to rise our path to love would bear just as true. We would never love another the way we fell in love that day.

But I’m good now. And I’m over you now. And I release you from my spirit.

Go well and with love good peeps.

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How Do You Decide?

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Choices, choices and more choices surrounded by decisions, decisions, and more decisions amidst a complicated landscape of relationships. My mind is overwhelmed as my time is limited yet the thought of sharing and giving remains an innate part of my overall being. Thus, the desire to connect in some type of way (apparently I’m feeling some type of way) is continually vying for my attention and demanding I take action. All actions will result in reactions.

Therefore, how do I decide?

Relationships are a mutha; let alone our relationships with our kids, parents, siblings, friends, etc. Yet, our makeup as human beings relies heavily on our ability to create relationships and sustain them. When you think about it – it is a very selfish act. The intended result is to satisfy the bubbling need to connect which is within all of us. Of course, you are free to live a nomadic or reclusive life and rid yourself of any true human connection.

Most of us don’t want to be reclusive – or alone. Therefore, we find ways in which we connect through church, extracurricular activities, and other social functions. Upon connecting we develop and nurture a relationship with another individual hoping for great things to come. And ultimately we sustain a long lasting relationship in which we can look back over time and proudly reflect on the journey it took to achieve that pinnacle. I imagine a Gandhi like figure sitting atop the mountain overlooking a serene and beautiful valley while mind, body, and spirit are one with God.

But before I become so Gandhi-like, I still need to decide, make a choice; take action as it relates to engaging in a meaningful relationship.

So here’s where I become creative and design a process (I know, it’s so “business” talk).

  1. Be deliberate in my actions and desires. This method is very Neanderthal-like; I knock you on the head with my club, throw you over my shoulder, and wander off into the sunset heading for my cave. A bit outdated (and quite illegal) but the intended result is achieved.
  2. I sit back and wait for a line to form as women anticipate meeting me… (crickets, crickets) Yeah, this has a very low probability for success but nonetheless, it’s an option.
  3. I can always let the chips fall as they may. There is absolutely no control in this method and I leave it all to the “universe” to guide me. What happens if the universe says “No RELATIONSHIP for you!?” (In my Nazi Soup Kitchen voice.)
  4. I can devise a very scientific approach to understanding the landscape of choices and then act on those choices very methodically. Oh, wait, eHarmony and Match.com have the patent on this method.
  5. Pray my way into a relationship. Somehow, I see this as very similar to #3 above, but this “universe” is a true serving God. However, other complications can be debated with this method (religious beliefs, science, etc.)

Finally, as I sit back and think about these methods to become engaged in a relationship the fog clears from my head and I listen to the voice directing me – be still my child. I come to the realization that I can’t force the magic of a relationship but I should anticipate its ability to be present when I least expect it. During this time my focus becomes inward as I rid myself of the skeletons and complexities I’ve created to become a renewed man. This I can live with.

Go well and with love good peeps.

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You See Red, I See Blue

Irreconable, irreconcievable, irrecon…IRRECONCILABLE!

That’s the word I was searching for! Yes, it is that moment when you can no longer relate to that other person in your life – be it a spouse, a friend, family member or whomever. It is coming to grips with a thought process that may have taken time to mature and eventually accept but you understand where it stems from. It comes from a place that has taken all of your personal experiences over your years of living with the attempt to mesh them with another human being’s experiences in which none of those thoughts are shared between you. It is the absolute discovery of relating – or not relating.

I love sports but you do not and therefore we just can’t have the conversations I have about sports.

It becomes obvious after a while that what we communicate about is entirely out of sync. Many times this is to no one’s fault it is simply how we are wired. I can’t help that I abhor fashion and completely hate shopping. I mean, seriously, how many pairs of shoes can one own? Or I see you are not interested in technology but I’m a geek.

There we are sitting quietly on opposite ends of the room with nothing to say and nothing in common. Our eyes barely gaze at one another because of these differences. We can’t muster up conversation and the air around us becomes tense. With an outburst one of us declares, “I can’t take this anymore! The silence is deafening.”

And so the road to irreconcilable differences begins.

But is it really so formulaic? If it is, is it preventable? Is this a giant snowball we can prevent from escalating merely by recognizing and dealing with the avalanche that occurred to create it?

Or is it merely the way we are wired? A life-long event of equipping us with our desires, turn-offs, our wants, politics, religion (or lack thereof) and needs that fashions us as to who we are? If this is the case we only would hang with those we have things in common with. We would find ourselves drifting to others like us. We would have the tendency to be among those most like us and those that can relate to who we are. Hmm, don’t we already do this and how’s it working out? Maybe we recognize that it isn’t merely searching out for others like us but that we are formed by others in their image.

How would we ever overcome this conundrum? A weird cycle of Catch-22 is initiated when the repetitive life-cycle is repeated generation after generation, time after time, never allowing evolution to take hold and catapult us to another level.

I say “Stop it then!” Don’t allow our differences and our comforts get the best of us. Don’t allow the negativity of irreconcilability seep into our psyche’s and mess up the most advantageous paths our lives can take. Don’t take away our life’s potential or our children’s lives potential with an inadequate substitute due to our challenges to communicate. We should be thinking positively before we step down these negative paths. We need to understand fully what the future might hold as we embrace this life of irreconcilability.

For now, I will like many others come to the conclusion that life may bring me to a dead end and there is no other alternative for reconciliation – therefore thrusting me into a different direction than previously thought. Hope is not lost but the path will change. I just hope this path has the potential as my previous path.

Go well and with love good peeps.