What do you love about where you live?
Chicago is one of the most beautiful urban cities in the world! The architecture, the food, the people, the lake and rivers, the greenery, the vibe, the art, the culture, the sports, the four seasons, and so many other factors.
I have lived many places and my heart always brings me back to the Chi.
Go well and with love good peeps.
I haven’t been able to recognize my passion in anything over my lifetime. I have tried, but to no avail. Maybe I was close when I participated in sports as a young person. Or maybe in my first chosen career in college – theater. Or possibly when I got into my current IT career. I even suppose writing could be measured by my passion-meter to some degree. But what I have clearly seen was the passion my daughter has for volleyball. And it’s a beautiful thing to watch – her passion for the game.
But that passion is dying, shriveling up like a wilted flower, or a grape slowly dying on the vine. And it hurts my soul to watch. 😦
As a father, I want to pour into her (and my son) every ounce of unused passion I have in my tank to ensure she has the most. I want to experience the joy, accomplishment, and camaraderie I witness in her spirit as she excels in her chosen sport. But that does not appear to be the longterm case as she limps down the road of unrealized dreams as so many of us have experienced. The sad truth of life.
Life’s challenges have caught up with her as she grows into a young woman who now has to find her way post the young teen era. She has been introduced to the issues of boy problems, parental problems, girlfriend problems and self-esteem problems that life spares no one. She continues to work through these challenges as I would expect, so this isn’t a letter of conceding to life’s challenges but merely the exploration of how to deal with the death of passion.
I imagine most of us have not been able to live out our passions in life or whatever passion we had takes a back seat to life’s intricacies that take center stage of making it day-to-day. I would even bet it hurts more when you have been able to identify your passion but have witnessed its demise, unlike those of us that have yet to know what having passion feels like. It’s a conundrum – best to have lived and loved versus not loving or living life at all.
When I witness those individuals that have harnessed their passionate ideas and rode the passion-wave towards their futures I can only imagine that intense feeling of accomplishment they must feel. And that’s why so many of us revel in the viewing of concerts, sports, books, business success or other expressive forms where clearly the person leading the charge has been able to achieve that plateau of success. It’s a beautiful thing in any medium.
Does Passion ever die or does it go dormant until the appropriate opportunity allows it to flourish once again?
We don’t like living lives of regrets or disappointments thus we strive to do the most in getting what we can out of life. That isn’t always as easy as it appears but we know it’s in reach because we witness it every day as others thrive. God plants the seeds of passion in every one of us – this I believe, and He wants us to explore what that might be – to nourish the seed allowing it to grow to a full blown mosaic of beauty as He intended. Sometimes others may identify this as our “gifts.”
That’s why I want to reignite the flame my daughter once felt and witness her achieve her dream, if just for a small period of time. Maybe because I’ve had to vicariously live through her at the expense of my own ineptitude. Either way, it’s akin to viewing the making of a Rembrandt but the painter decides enough is enough. There must be a way, an incentive to reengage the painter one would hope. And this is where I exist with my own offspring – looking for the right method to help her through.
I don’t believe the end is nigh, we merely have to channel what was to what else can be. I am hopeful.
Go well and with love good peeps.
Recently I made a social media snafu, I guess I haven’t been on my “A” game as of late, and I posted a pic of me on a site with the following caption: “I want something special – a great connection.” An unintended cryptic message that caught the fancy of naysayers’ responses exclaiming that I wasn’t shit as a man looking for a relationship because I couldn’t even provide a more detailed response than what I did. So I edited the caption with a bit more detail that answered the original post’s question, “Men—Post A Pic And Be Specific About What Kind Of Relationship You Want.”
“I want something special – a great connection”
My lazy and unthoughtful ass couldn’t even muster up the creativity to provide more of a snapshot to my inner soul’s desire on the type of mate I would want and the type of man I would be if said mate would have me. No, I was a degenerate type of dude that didn’t think about anyone else but himself, so clearly I would drag a willing female through my mud and darkness while never providing a clear indication that the relationship (or supposed relationship) was on a road to nowhere.
Silly me to think otherwise. My fraudulent actions could not disguise my inner dog tendencies with this crowd of insightful women, so many let me have it. But, unlike Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” law and for me to state with bravado – I SAID WHAT I SAID! – I acquiesced to the pitchfork crowd and provided more fodder for the post.
It was received with a mix bag. 🥹
Don’t get me wrong, there were many people that had an understanding of where my thoughts were headed and they didn’t see me in the shrouded light of confusion and as a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but that I might have been genuine in my thoughts. And I was.
However, there is nothing wrong for me to self-assess, look in Michael Jackson’s metaphorical mirror, and start with what kind of man/mate I want to be and announce it to the world. In our current social climate, it is so much easier to stand your ground and believe everyone else is evil while you are the saint or good Christian you envision, wearing the mask of righteousness without truly considering the implications of such a stance. But it is so much harder to reflect on who you are, warts and all, and deal with them head-on, facing uncomfortable truths that may lurk just beneath the surface. It’s not that everyone has to like you or even hang out with you; however, cultivating a genuine understanding of oneself can lead to more meaningful connections and interactions with others. At the core of this self-discovery is the essential notion of authenticity—letting the world see your vulnerabilities and strengths alike. Accepting oneself fully paves the way for others to see your light, allowing them to accept you for who you truly are, which can foster deeper relationships based on mutual respect and understanding. Embracing this journey is ultimately a testament to personal growth, enabling both yourself and those around you to flourish.
I usually don’t put myself out there like that on the socials in effort to avoid the criticism I might receive. But, in this case, I was truly genuine in my thoughts on how I desire a connection so strong that all of my worldly desires of the flesh are merely secondary to the unexplainable metaphysical connection that I have witnessed in other relationships. The attraction, vibe, connection, or soulmativness (yes, I just invented this word) of another individual can be so deep that the mere presence of that individual lights you up like a cannon. It can be a beautiful thing in any kind of relationship – with my family, kids, friends – and even a mate. For that I might stand my ground and say, I said what I said – with the caveat – because I believe in something special.
Go well and with love good peeps.
I am positive we have all experienced the dreaded “Friend Zone” reference at some point in our existence. Generally speaking, it isn’t typically associated with positive connotations and is more associated with “losing the race.” However, this is because we don’t normally wrap our minds around the dilemma, how it came to be, and the circumstances surrounding it. My challenge in this writing is to explore the positive nature of this dilemma. Full disclosure – I could be completely off-base and the friend zone is the most terrible and dreadful place you may find yourself. IJS…
When starting a relationship, whether platonic, accidentally, or with purpose, we set out on a journey to better understand the person in which we are engaging. The start can be fueled by so many various components that it’s not one simple path that gets us to the starting gate. Attraction, by far, is the most traveled path, while someone’s aura may be the least (only because it’s a difficult attribute to tap into). Whatever the initial flame the outcome in this…ahem…”study” is the results in the two people becoming friends.
The other aspect of this journey is when the friend zone takes place. In most cases you look up and realize the zone you are in is that zone and your feeling of perplex remains unsolved. It’s like turning left when you should have turned right. Or getting off the bus at the wrong stop because you were caught up in the moment. Or thinking you killed that exam only to find out you scored 5 out of 50 (yes, that can happen!).
The most glaring oxymoron pertaining to a friendship is the admission we want to find our best friend and be with them forever. Good luck with that. As fate usually has it we either end up in the friend zone or we become estranged as we find ourselves growing apart from a friendship we once had.
I once had an ex-partner exclaim to me that we would be the best of friends if we weren’t in a relationship.
Our peeps that end up in our own friend zones have become friends that we can share with, laugh with, celebrate with, and commune with. Yet, somewhere along this relationship building exercise the transformation occurred. But, if we are on the opposite end of that trajectory we don’t focus on the positive aspects of where the journey took us and the lasting relationship formed but the negative aspect of where we found ourselves. In the meantime, the lasting beauty of that newly formed relationship may be one of the best relationships we have experienced.
Therefore, I want to cherish the beauty of the journey and accept the intended outcome as designed by the universe. I will be intentional about openness to those that might qualify as a friend, especially as a partner, and enjoy the friendship journey as it unfolds. No remorse.
I will not close the door on the possibilities of the future, meaning, not to view the friend zone as a permanent address, but merely an opportunity to grow further in the relationship. Stranger things have happened. I know people that grew into friends and found life giving them both a rich experience full of positive outcomes. In a world full of divorce, deceit, lying, cheating, and hate how can we not welcome the love of an everlasting friendship?
“The IDEA of love is only temporary if not fueled by a level of committed love
that comes from a true friendship.” – Me
I can only hope for a future in where I find a partner that I can relate, while building a love bond that becomes unshakable. The thought of that person will propel me to act and behave as I would do with my best friend. It’s not an easy path to achieve, but it is desirable. Therefore, I purposely choose to rise above the dilemma with the hope of building a better partnership no matter the outcome.
Go well and with love good peeps.
It’s been over a month since I nearly lost my life in a car accident but God allowed me to thwart death. And the beat goes on.
It’s been more than a year since my father passed away and the sadness smacks me in the face out of nowhere. And the beat goes on.
It’s been nearly two years since I published anything on my blog – frozen with the inability to put pen-to-paper while consumed with life. And the beat goes on.
It’s been several years since my neck surgery where I slowly started to lose the ability to type my thoughts onto the pages you see before you due to the nerve damage I sustained. And the beat goes on.
It’s been years since I first started writing after nearly losing my little ones IN THE SAME YEAR that almost crushed me to pieces where I would not have been able to recover. And the beat continued.
It feels like a lifetime since I was in love or had love to share. Now where was that beat?
I now sit here with my thoughts while struggling to control my keystrokes due to my physical limitations in my hands. I have Elvis’s “Burning Love” blasting through my AirPods as the motivation to clear my head, think about how fast life is passing, and reminisce about the days when the pulse of my life was beating through my veins and I felt alive.
But, I am alive.
I have great memories of my hard-working father who sacrificed so much for so many people. I have the thoughts of my kids (now teens) as they find their own ways through the world facing the challenges of young Black teens and an uncertain future. My motivation.
I have my loving mother who continues to cherish all of her children and grandchildren and never complains about the hardships life has bestowed upon her. I am reminded of my supportive family and friends who have held me up over the years – they encourage me to continue to strive to be the best version of myself. I have positive thoughts of my co-workers, acquaintances, and other peripheral individuals who I sense care about my well-being, and it makes me smile.
I am grateful.
And my life’s heartbeat goes on.
I imagine I am not alone in my thoughts of life passing by, I’m currently just more vocal about the thoughts as they are revealed in my blog.
With all of the struggles in the world and the pressures seemingly piling down on you, just remember, the beat does go on. Do your best to catch that beat and ride it out. In the end, you can’t stop life from happening, but you can control how you respond to the rhythmic nuances presented to you.
And. The. Beat. Goes. On.
Now go well and with love good peeps while you create your own musical playlist in your head to march to the beat of your life.
“Be the best above the rest.” – Walter B
There are moments in our lives – good and bad – where the experience we undertake is accompanied by song. The song and the experience intertwine to create a memory that is triggered by merely hearing the song. Also, the memory cannot be played back in our minds without the accompanying song in the background. It is through this complex orchestration of elements that defined who we were as individuals during that life moment. The beauty or sorrow experienced is an experience that lives on forever. I can appreciate the revelation into my soul because of this.
The Dedication – All That I Can Say – Mary J Blige
We lay together in each other’s arms on my bed. We were relatively silent after a time of loving on one another. It was late night and a song came over the radio. As the song began with its specific and recognizable beat – you looked at me and said, “I dedicate this song to you. I love you.” I don’t recall ever having a tender moment like this and at that time I didn’t want to be anywhere else except where I was – lying with you in my arms taking in the moment and hearing the words all that I can say.
My Ni**a – In the Air Tonight – Phil Collins
We probably shouldn’t have been on the road that night given how high we were. But somehow I knew shit was cool and I didn’t worry about too much. After smoking a joint, drinking a fifth and hanging out that evening we were on the road, top down on the Mitsubishi Eclipse cutting through the warm Dallas air on a clear night. The song has always been a favorite of mine so when it came on we both recognized its brilliance in silence, heads bopping, and the moment was etched in a memory forever. My “boy”, my ni**a, my confidant was born.
Unbreakable Bond – Tribe – Bas & J. Cole
The birth of the moment that I knew we would always be connected no matter what. The road trip proved to be one of spiritual awareness and human connectivity. While it started off as any other moment – filled with apprehension, tension, and uncertainty, it became clear that it was the defining moment in which I saw you grow before my very eyes. We connected in a way that we had never connected before. I recognized our before and after images were vastly different providing a powerful contrast, yet, identical in the same breadth. We both felt the power of what we had experienced and knew that we would always be there for one another.
My Angel on Earth – Strawberry Shortcake – The Sky’s the Limit theme music
How can reliving a moment time and time again of the very essence of life given by God as a gift to cherish throughout your lifetime ever get old? It doesn’t. You embody all that was promised to me when I was in need of love. When I knew that life was about to change in a way that was unrecoverable you were conceived. Your spirit embodies your name and you never prove me wrong for the love I unconditionally provide. If ever a simple moment turned into a gargantuan of a mountain it was our time together enjoying a simple yet unforgettable tune that resonated our time together in your young life.
Conditional Love – F**k You – C Lo Green
Anger, disdain, hate and generally pissed at you and the horse you rode in on. Like, really? I don’t quite measure up to your idea of a man that provides, huh? Not the loving companion that showed up in your fantasies? Was I just a sorry-ass waste of a male figure that happen to show up on your doorstep during a desperate moment in your life? Perhaps, but, thankfully, my confidence in who I am and who I get to be will always outweigh the projection put upon me by your own lack of self-worth. For that, I am thankful of the experience.
Go well and with love good peeps.
Ah, life, filled with such joys, mysteries, and pleasantries. I want to get out more and more these days and enjoy these moments as I have become wiser with age. My eyes have experienced many things, my ears have heard the essence of beautiful music, and my senses have been brought to life because of my surroundings; therefore, I thought it would be good for me to reflect on some things that I promise myself I will never do at this stage of life. You do with your life as you desire, as for me, these following things will never make it in my book of life upon its completion.
Yes, I know my list is fairly exhaustive and of course anything can happen. I won’t necessarily count these things completely out but I am 99.99% sure they won’t happen; although, I can really see myself as a shining rap star – kind of a cross between Kanye and Jay-Z perhaps? Only time will tell but don’t hold your breath waiting for it.
I was thinking, as I always do and it usually lands me in hot water, about the 2003 Cubs and how the resulting Steve Bartman interference caused the impending doom of the team to reach the World Series. Everything unraveled in such a way that it was like watching a train wreck – you couldn’t take your eyes off of it and you knew the ending was not going to be pretty. And today is that infamous anniversary of this train wreck.
However, the biggest issue surrounding this collapse was blaming Bartman for starting the butterfly effect. We’ll never know whether it was Bartman or not but humans are notorious for blaming (me included). And it is a very difficult task to overcome. To refresh your memory; Bartman reaches out for a foul ball as most baseball fans would’ve done – this causes fan interference – runs score and the Cubs lose the game – the next game the Cubs lose again – no World Series. This was further complicated as the Cubs were up 3 games to 2. So close and yet…
So what about life? If an action I take sets some mystical aura in motion that then has an impact on your life am I truly the conduit for the change / impact to your life or am I merely a part of the process? If we were predestined to follow the paths we do in life (unbeknownst to us) then is it really my fault for setting in motion those events that change your life? Or is it just life and your ability to deal with the changes?
Many of us will say it’s our inability to accept the changes that we are dealt and we should be stronger in doing so. Yet, we don’t truly believe this for ourselves because we continue to assert blame in various ways.
We blame the President for a bad economy although the motions for a bad economy were ever looming. Wives blame husbands for their discontent when it might be more to the matter. Children blame parents for the way in which they behave. Nations blame nations for tragic and unfortunate circumstances impacting their individual citizens.
In some cases the responsibility clearly lies with the firestarter – such as Hitler where we can all agree he was the culprit. Yet, life is full of choices. The choice to follow someone like a Hitler. Or another example is slavery. Many blacks were forced to come over on slave ships. And we all agree there is some blame for the African-American’s plight to overcome. Yet, many people feel that by now blacks should’ve already overcome. Take responsibility. Yet, there were so many other elements to add into the history and mix that make this almost an impossible scenario to accept the singularly responsible trigger.
So we stay hypocritical in aspects of life in which we can relate and we stand resolute on our beliefs in other circumstances where we do not comprehend. We are complex individuals no doubt, but ultimately it comes down to choice. And the choices we make can be deadly (to ourselves or families), might be wrong (Sarah Palin as a running mate), or cause more madness about us. But we do have to accept that our responsibility in all this does matter and has unseen consequences.
Are you willing to totally accept your own responsibility and the butterfly effect you have on life or are you still prone to think other individual’s actions are the reason you are where you are in life with mountaining barriers to overcome? The choice is yours, but choose you must. Good luck with that.
Go well and with love good peeps.
Best Friends Forever – or something like that. Regardless, the truth of the matter is the meaning of true friends.
When I recently met with an old friend (of course we are both young at heart) I could not imagine the feelings I would have as we shared in conversation. We talked and laughed and both had a general appreciation for our friendship. Our conversations picked up just where we had left them almost two years ago since last seeing one another face to face. Having a connection such as ours is special especially in this microwave age in which we live.
Therefore, it made me think and appreciate those BFFs in my life. I can imagine we all have those “ride-or-die” types that will be there regardless of where we are in our life’s journey. Think about what makes that friend special; it can be the simplest of things or actions to the more complex.
Living in this age of social mediums and instant communications we have a tendency to take our friendships for granted. We don’t purposely do this we just develop a sense of instant response and gratification – but we don’t put as much value on the long term emotional connection created with our friends as we should. I for one recognize this with my friends and I routinely attempt to call myself out to show my appreciation and support. I may not be the most together person at times but I can honestly say my heart is genuine. And I am happy that my BFFs recognize this within me and continue to call me BFF.
Go well and with love good peeps.
Over the course of the last number of months our society has seen its share of tense conversations. These conversations should not be taken lightly but many times we find ourselves on opposite ends as we discuss our thoughts and beliefs. Beliefs that may be contradictory to your own. And I don’t presume to judge what belief is right or wrong but merely point out our very diverse thinking. Our thinking is made up of our experiences, our upbringing, where we live, where we play, our character and other influences. At some point we all merely want to be understood. Not necessarily right, just understood. Because with understanding comes acceptance.
I sometimes try to recollect those events and polarizing stories that challenge us in ways beyond comprehension. Then I try to lay them out in a way determining the significance they have on society.
My thoughts in a list:
This is merely food for thought. No responses needed. No LIKEs desired. Just food for thought. Lost in all of this nonsense is our future generations. The well being of our children should be what drives us to do better.
I like to believe in humanity and that we all want what is best for the good of all of us, however, I am just a dreamer. And this dream that I dream may not come to fruition in my lifetime. But I do hold out hope.
Go well and with love good peeps.
Man of Wisdom 