What do you love about where you live?
Chicago is one of the most beautiful urban cities in the world! The architecture, the food, the people, the lake and rivers, the greenery, the vibe, the art, the culture, the sports, the four seasons, and so many other factors.
I have lived many places and my heart always brings me back to the Chi.
Go well and with love good peeps.
I haven’t been able to recognize my passion in anything over my lifetime. I have tried, but to no avail. Maybe I was close when I participated in sports as a young person. Or maybe in my first chosen career in college – theater. Or possibly when I got into my current IT career. I even suppose writing could be measured by my passion-meter to some degree. But what I have clearly seen was the passion my daughter has for volleyball. And it’s a beautiful thing to watch – her passion for the game.
But that passion is dying, shriveling up like a wilted flower, or a grape slowly dying on the vine. And it hurts my soul to watch. 😦
As a father, I want to pour into her (and my son) every ounce of unused passion I have in my tank to ensure she has the most. I want to experience the joy, accomplishment, and camaraderie I witness in her spirit as she excels in her chosen sport. But that does not appear to be the longterm case as she limps down the road of unrealized dreams as so many of us have experienced. The sad truth of life.
Life’s challenges have caught up with her as she grows into a young woman who now has to find her way post the young teen era. She has been introduced to the issues of boy problems, parental problems, girlfriend problems and self-esteem problems that life spares no one. She continues to work through these challenges as I would expect, so this isn’t a letter of conceding to life’s challenges but merely the exploration of how to deal with the death of passion.
I imagine most of us have not been able to live out our passions in life or whatever passion we had takes a back seat to life’s intricacies that take center stage of making it day-to-day. I would even bet it hurts more when you have been able to identify your passion but have witnessed its demise, unlike those of us that have yet to know what having passion feels like. It’s a conundrum – best to have lived and loved versus not loving or living life at all.
When I witness those individuals that have harnessed their passionate ideas and rode the passion-wave towards their futures I can only imagine that intense feeling of accomplishment they must feel. And that’s why so many of us revel in the viewing of concerts, sports, books, business success or other expressive forms where clearly the person leading the charge has been able to achieve that plateau of success. It’s a beautiful thing in any medium.
Does Passion ever die or does it go dormant until the appropriate opportunity allows it to flourish once again?
We don’t like living lives of regrets or disappointments thus we strive to do the most in getting what we can out of life. That isn’t always as easy as it appears but we know it’s in reach because we witness it every day as others thrive. God plants the seeds of passion in every one of us – this I believe, and He wants us to explore what that might be – to nourish the seed allowing it to grow to a full blown mosaic of beauty as He intended. Sometimes others may identify this as our “gifts.”
That’s why I want to reignite the flame my daughter once felt and witness her achieve her dream, if just for a small period of time. Maybe because I’ve had to vicariously live through her at the expense of my own ineptitude. Either way, it’s akin to viewing the making of a Rembrandt but the painter decides enough is enough. There must be a way, an incentive to reengage the painter one would hope. And this is where I exist with my own offspring – looking for the right method to help her through.
I don’t believe the end is nigh, we merely have to channel what was to what else can be. I am hopeful.
Go well and with love good peeps.
Recently I made a social media snafu, I guess I haven’t been on my “A” game as of late, and I posted a pic of me on a site with the following caption: “I want something special – a great connection.” An unintended cryptic message that caught the fancy of naysayers’ responses exclaiming that I wasn’t shit as a man looking for a relationship because I couldn’t even provide a more detailed response than what I did. So I edited the caption with a bit more detail that answered the original post’s question, “Men—Post A Pic And Be Specific About What Kind Of Relationship You Want.”
“I want something special – a great connection”
My lazy and unthoughtful ass couldn’t even muster up the creativity to provide more of a snapshot to my inner soul’s desire on the type of mate I would want and the type of man I would be if said mate would have me. No, I was a degenerate type of dude that didn’t think about anyone else but himself, so clearly I would drag a willing female through my mud and darkness while never providing a clear indication that the relationship (or supposed relationship) was on a road to nowhere.
Silly me to think otherwise. My fraudulent actions could not disguise my inner dog tendencies with this crowd of insightful women, so many let me have it. But, unlike Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” law and for me to state with bravado – I SAID WHAT I SAID! – I acquiesced to the pitchfork crowd and provided more fodder for the post.
It was received with a mix bag. 🥹
Don’t get me wrong, there were many people that had an understanding of where my thoughts were headed and they didn’t see me in the shrouded light of confusion and as a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but that I might have been genuine in my thoughts. And I was.
However, there is nothing wrong for me to self-assess, look in Michael Jackson’s metaphorical mirror, and start with what kind of man/mate I want to be and announce it to the world. In our current social climate, it is so much easier to stand your ground and believe everyone else is evil while you are the saint or good Christian you envision, wearing the mask of righteousness without truly considering the implications of such a stance. But it is so much harder to reflect on who you are, warts and all, and deal with them head-on, facing uncomfortable truths that may lurk just beneath the surface. It’s not that everyone has to like you or even hang out with you; however, cultivating a genuine understanding of oneself can lead to more meaningful connections and interactions with others. At the core of this self-discovery is the essential notion of authenticity—letting the world see your vulnerabilities and strengths alike. Accepting oneself fully paves the way for others to see your light, allowing them to accept you for who you truly are, which can foster deeper relationships based on mutual respect and understanding. Embracing this journey is ultimately a testament to personal growth, enabling both yourself and those around you to flourish.
I usually don’t put myself out there like that on the socials in effort to avoid the criticism I might receive. But, in this case, I was truly genuine in my thoughts on how I desire a connection so strong that all of my worldly desires of the flesh are merely secondary to the unexplainable metaphysical connection that I have witnessed in other relationships. The attraction, vibe, connection, or soulmativness (yes, I just invented this word) of another individual can be so deep that the mere presence of that individual lights you up like a cannon. It can be a beautiful thing in any kind of relationship – with my family, kids, friends – and even a mate. For that I might stand my ground and say, I said what I said – with the caveat – because I believe in something special.
Go well and with love good peeps.
I am positive we have all experienced the dreaded “Friend Zone” reference at some point in our existence. Generally speaking, it isn’t typically associated with positive connotations and is more associated with “losing the race.” However, this is because we don’t normally wrap our minds around the dilemma, how it came to be, and the circumstances surrounding it. My challenge in this writing is to explore the positive nature of this dilemma. Full disclosure – I could be completely off-base and the friend zone is the most terrible and dreadful place you may find yourself. IJS…
When starting a relationship, whether platonic, accidentally, or with purpose, we set out on a journey to better understand the person in which we are engaging. The start can be fueled by so many various components that it’s not one simple path that gets us to the starting gate. Attraction, by far, is the most traveled path, while someone’s aura may be the least (only because it’s a difficult attribute to tap into). Whatever the initial flame the outcome in this…ahem…”study” is the results in the two people becoming friends.
The other aspect of this journey is when the friend zone takes place. In most cases you look up and realize the zone you are in is that zone and your feeling of perplex remains unsolved. It’s like turning left when you should have turned right. Or getting off the bus at the wrong stop because you were caught up in the moment. Or thinking you killed that exam only to find out you scored 5 out of 50 (yes, that can happen!).
The most glaring oxymoron pertaining to a friendship is the admission we want to find our best friend and be with them forever. Good luck with that. As fate usually has it we either end up in the friend zone or we become estranged as we find ourselves growing apart from a friendship we once had.
I once had an ex-partner exclaim to me that we would be the best of friends if we weren’t in a relationship.
Our peeps that end up in our own friend zones have become friends that we can share with, laugh with, celebrate with, and commune with. Yet, somewhere along this relationship building exercise the transformation occurred. But, if we are on the opposite end of that trajectory we don’t focus on the positive aspects of where the journey took us and the lasting relationship formed but the negative aspect of where we found ourselves. In the meantime, the lasting beauty of that newly formed relationship may be one of the best relationships we have experienced.
Therefore, I want to cherish the beauty of the journey and accept the intended outcome as designed by the universe. I will be intentional about openness to those that might qualify as a friend, especially as a partner, and enjoy the friendship journey as it unfolds. No remorse.
I will not close the door on the possibilities of the future, meaning, not to view the friend zone as a permanent address, but merely an opportunity to grow further in the relationship. Stranger things have happened. I know people that grew into friends and found life giving them both a rich experience full of positive outcomes. In a world full of divorce, deceit, lying, cheating, and hate how can we not welcome the love of an everlasting friendship?
“The IDEA of love is only temporary if not fueled by a level of committed love
that comes from a true friendship.” – Me
I can only hope for a future in where I find a partner that I can relate, while building a love bond that becomes unshakable. The thought of that person will propel me to act and behave as I would do with my best friend. It’s not an easy path to achieve, but it is desirable. Therefore, I purposely choose to rise above the dilemma with the hope of building a better partnership no matter the outcome.
Go well and with love good peeps.
It’s been over a month since I nearly lost my life in a car accident but God allowed me to thwart death. And the beat goes on.
It’s been more than a year since my father passed away and the sadness smacks me in the face out of nowhere. And the beat goes on.
It’s been nearly two years since I published anything on my blog – frozen with the inability to put pen-to-paper while consumed with life. And the beat goes on.
It’s been several years since my neck surgery where I slowly started to lose the ability to type my thoughts onto the pages you see before you due to the nerve damage I sustained. And the beat goes on.
It’s been years since I first started writing after nearly losing my little ones IN THE SAME YEAR that almost crushed me to pieces where I would not have been able to recover. And the beat continued.
It feels like a lifetime since I was in love or had love to share. Now where was that beat?
I now sit here with my thoughts while struggling to control my keystrokes due to my physical limitations in my hands. I have Elvis’s “Burning Love” blasting through my AirPods as the motivation to clear my head, think about how fast life is passing, and reminisce about the days when the pulse of my life was beating through my veins and I felt alive.
But, I am alive.
I have great memories of my hard-working father who sacrificed so much for so many people. I have the thoughts of my kids (now teens) as they find their own ways through the world facing the challenges of young Black teens and an uncertain future. My motivation.
I have my loving mother who continues to cherish all of her children and grandchildren and never complains about the hardships life has bestowed upon her. I am reminded of my supportive family and friends who have held me up over the years – they encourage me to continue to strive to be the best version of myself. I have positive thoughts of my co-workers, acquaintances, and other peripheral individuals who I sense care about my well-being, and it makes me smile.
I am grateful.
And my life’s heartbeat goes on.
I imagine I am not alone in my thoughts of life passing by, I’m currently just more vocal about the thoughts as they are revealed in my blog.
With all of the struggles in the world and the pressures seemingly piling down on you, just remember, the beat does go on. Do your best to catch that beat and ride it out. In the end, you can’t stop life from happening, but you can control how you respond to the rhythmic nuances presented to you.
And. The. Beat. Goes. On.
Now go well and with love good peeps while you create your own musical playlist in your head to march to the beat of your life.
“Be the best above the rest.” – Walter B
My Sun
Born on a stormy summer night in the heart of the Southside of the city. A bundle of strange but beautiful energy that emanated from his mother’s womb, my Sun was truly a gift waiting to be unwrapped. It wasn’t his below normal size or his unusual movements, nor the scare we had of losing him during pregnancy, but the way in which he “spoke” to me through my wife’s belly. I could tell he was full of antics and surprises – like when he shied away from the ultra-sound as the doctor attempted to discover his gender. My Sun tossed and turned as the ultrasonic rays attempted to get a glimpse of the creation God entrusted in his mother’s womb.
I was confident he would rise like the sun, but I had no idea of the inner shine he would disperse. And his birth – after a labor stint of 24-hours – was beyond magic, it was the miracle of life many folks have experienced throughout history. Yet, here he was, born on this wet night, thunder raging in the background – my Sun was born. The light cut through the dark of the night as he emerged. His sounds were strong, but his spirit was stronger as he clenched his tiny hands. And so, life began again, yet, this was his life.
The life of my Sun.
My Moon
Contrasted by a serene early morning Autumn day my Moon came into this world like the moon itself – quiet, unassuming, magnetic and majestic. A boldness that can be viewed directly from miles away and riveting in every way. Her beauty lies in the compelling energy she embodies. Her spirit shines so brightly like the rising of a new moon daily. Atmospheric pressures twirl within her very being – giving notice to all who are graced with her presence. My Moon is amazing.
She was born to be bold yet so shy. My Moon came into this world in a most imaginative way. I remember the tears of joy slowly slid down my cheeks as I saw her for the first time. She connected with her mother like a scene out of a mother-daughter Lifetime movie – emotional and authentic. The beauty of the moment lives in a little room in my heart prepared for a moment like my Moon’s birth. I never understood the tremendous beauty of the night until my Moon revealed when she entered this world. As ocean waves are lit under a moonlit sky, my Moon did the same for my humanity.
My Moon rose majestically.
And the story begins…
Go well and with love good peeps.
In the wake of Chadwick Boseman’s passing I am compelled to examine how he touched millions of people with his great portrayal of the Black Panther despite his personal health issues. And by all accounts he was a stand-up guy and many folks, myself included, were devastated to hear the news of his death. As I watched the movie on ABC TV and the tribute following the movie I wondered how he came to be such a great and welcomed hero during this time. And was I capable of exemplifying the traits of a hero?
I am forever touched by individuals who display such human compassion and dignity in their lives like a second nature – effortlessly engaging with others and doing so with authenticity and poise. The life we are living is never promised, yet, some people learn to embrace what has been bestowed upon them as if it was already written in history for them to be great.
And here I sit – in complete awe and mesmerized by Chadwick’s goodness that I want to assess my own morality and step up my game to another level. I don’t want to leave this earth with that incomplete feeling as though I haven’t left all of my cards on the table. Or that I squandered good relationships because of my social ineptitude. Or that I was clueless to the impact I had on other people’s lives because I was caught up in my own self-pity.
It dawned on me that I, too, am a hero – to one – one human being at a time.
My two kids see me as a hero – not that we’ve had conversations but that I see it in how they treat me. Sometimes they seem awed by my ordinary actions that show up as extra-ordinary in the eyes of a child.
Or they describe me to their friends in a way that is uplifting, yet, I’ve done very little heavy lifting.
And they will provide me subtle hints of their immense love for me when I don’t feel lovingly at all.
I am human – I am flawed – I am a hero
And like any great hero we are driven by our internal compasses that guide us to be better than we once were. We are a work-in-progress as we rediscover who we are and the value we bring to others. The value we bring rarely shows up in a way that is blatant but it is ever-present in our daily actions. The eyes of society are upon us. It is important to recognize this and understand the power that has been bestowed upon us as we touch the beautiful souls of others.
Most of us will never receive the recognition of a Marvel Super Hero, but, in many ways we will. It is the quiet, unassuming masks that we don every day that puts us in the same stratosphere of superheroness.
Don’t sell yourself short and learn to embrace your own super powers within. Society needs us. Don’t you see that bat signal?
Prayers to the family and friends of Chadwick Boseman.
Go well and with love good peeps.
A HERO is a real person or a main fictional character who, in the face of danger, combats adversity through feats of ingenuity, courage or strength. Like other formerly solely gender-specific terms, hero is often used to refer to any gender, though heroine only refers to female. Wikipedia
There are moments in our lives – good and bad – where the experience we undertake is accompanied by song. The song and the experience intertwine to create a memory that is triggered by merely hearing the song. Also, the memory cannot be played back in our minds without the accompanying song in the background. It is through this complex orchestration of elements that defined who we were as individuals during that life moment. The beauty or sorrow experienced is an experience that lives on forever. I can appreciate the revelation into my soul because of this.
The Dedication – All That I Can Say – Mary J Blige
We lay together in each other’s arms on my bed. We were relatively silent after a time of loving on one another. It was late night and a song came over the radio. As the song began with its specific and recognizable beat – you looked at me and said, “I dedicate this song to you. I love you.” I don’t recall ever having a tender moment like this and at that time I didn’t want to be anywhere else except where I was – lying with you in my arms taking in the moment and hearing the words all that I can say.
My Ni**a – In the Air Tonight – Phil Collins
We probably shouldn’t have been on the road that night given how high we were. But somehow I knew shit was cool and I didn’t worry about too much. After smoking a joint, drinking a fifth and hanging out that evening we were on the road, top down on the Mitsubishi Eclipse cutting through the warm Dallas air on a clear night. The song has always been a favorite of mine so when it came on we both recognized its brilliance in silence, heads bopping, and the moment was etched in a memory forever. My “boy”, my ni**a, my confidant was born.
Unbreakable Bond – Tribe – Bas & J. Cole
The birth of the moment that I knew we would always be connected no matter what. The road trip proved to be one of spiritual awareness and human connectivity. While it started off as any other moment – filled with apprehension, tension, and uncertainty, it became clear that it was the defining moment in which I saw you grow before my very eyes. We connected in a way that we had never connected before. I recognized our before and after images were vastly different providing a powerful contrast, yet, identical in the same breadth. We both felt the power of what we had experienced and knew that we would always be there for one another.
My Angel on Earth – Strawberry Shortcake – The Sky’s the Limit theme music
How can reliving a moment time and time again of the very essence of life given by God as a gift to cherish throughout your lifetime ever get old? It doesn’t. You embody all that was promised to me when I was in need of love. When I knew that life was about to change in a way that was unrecoverable you were conceived. Your spirit embodies your name and you never prove me wrong for the love I unconditionally provide. If ever a simple moment turned into a gargantuan of a mountain it was our time together enjoying a simple yet unforgettable tune that resonated our time together in your young life.
Conditional Love – F**k You – C Lo Green
Anger, disdain, hate and generally pissed at you and the horse you rode in on. Like, really? I don’t quite measure up to your idea of a man that provides, huh? Not the loving companion that showed up in your fantasies? Was I just a sorry-ass waste of a male figure that happen to show up on your doorstep during a desperate moment in your life? Perhaps, but, thankfully, my confidence in who I am and who I get to be will always outweigh the projection put upon me by your own lack of self-worth. For that, I am thankful of the experience.
Go well and with love good peeps.
I often wonder if my thoughts are uniquely weird or are there others out there that think like me? I mean, sometimes my thoughts take me off the beaten path and I’m unaware of the journey until I pause and reflect where my thoughts have taken me. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good, but albeit, a journey nonetheless. It can happen while I’m watching TV, reading a good story, or doing my business in the men’s room. And then the thought hits me – and that moment of “a-ha!” vibrates my inner being to where I proclaim, Yeah! This is one of those moments – the moment(s) I fell in love.
Photo by rovenimages.com on Pexels.com
Love is a tricky thing as we all know. There are a gazillion books, articles, and self-help novels guiding us to achieve that elusive goal of love. There are songs, dances, and artistic impressions that guide our minds and motions to experience love. We talk with one another about the origins and the paths love takes us down. But do we ever just reflect on that moment when we fell in love? It’s an incredible visualization of the event when you get it just right – your mind painting a Picasso moment as the sound of trumpets lightly blare in the background. I find myself reliving the still motion picture in mind over and over and over again.
I have one episode loitering my mind where love found it’s way into my heart – I remember it vividly. She and I sat on her couch talking for hours upon hours. The eye contact, the laughter, the familiarity all played a part in stroking the flame that ignited the passion within my soul. It was beyond sexual attraction – although that did exist, but the desire was to have the night last forever. These are the moments you want to freeze in time and pull them up like old microfiche images that captured the very timing of Cupid’s arrow piercing your heart.
And I want to relive the moment time and again.
It doesn’t matter that you might be divorced, broken down, or resentful as hell with the object of your previous love desire – but that moment existed – and you should celebrate the experience it created. Far too many times we let those wonderful moments dwindle in the crevices of our minds because of pain or heartache. I’m here to tell you to bring them back so that you might feel the joy once created. M A G I C A L
Also note, love isn’t always about that hunk of a guy or sexy ass girl but maybe a friend. The experience is just the same, although the desiring result will vary. Ultimately, it is about that connection made with another individual and your souls agreed to collaborate on a masterpiece that became a friendship of togetherness.
…and that friendship stands the test of time or racism or divisiveness.
It all started with a connection. A simple hello – an introduction – or an abrupt interruption that captured the curiosity of the other. And the mysterious movements of life orchestrated the love concoction that made its way into your hearts. The moment was real and should never be squashed because it is the essence of humankind.
Go well and with love good peeps.
As I washed up for the weekend and ensured I had my most whitest of my tighties cleaned for whatever might await me on the eve of my biggest day of the year – my birthday – I got to reflecting.
I reflected because I was reminded how lucky I am and how great things are for me. It was a clear moment for me and I thought, “I was money and I didn’t even know it.” (Swingers) And though I haven’t been feeling so lucky as of late I pontificated about the years gone by and the pretty fabulous life I have lived and what has been bestowed upon me. My conclusion:
I am Blessed.
My memories swirled through my head like an old 8mm film with the voice of Morgan Freeman narrating (as he always does in my head). My emotions rose like geysers gushing from the Earth as I sorted through the laundry list of situations and loved ones that made me smile and cry. I peeked in on my sleeping kids and stood in the doorway for a moment – thinking of their futures and the guidance I have given them. And it really finally dawned on me that I am doing okay in life’s fast-paced game.
It isn’t that I don’t have challenges about bills, love, betrayal, or the likes (wait, that sounds like an episode of Empire); but it is the fact that I am still in my right mind to shift. Shift my being to something different. It isn’t a big shift, just a nudge, yet it gives way to those memories that reinforce the good that I have encountered.
So on this eve of me arriving on this planet I reflect on the following:
I can give love to my friends and I can receive it in return.
These few things give me pause as the clock strikes midnight and I go into celebratory mode. I will enjoy those things around me and I will look for the good in life – because I have the power to do so. And for this I am grateful.
Go well and with love good peeps.
And Happy Birthday to me. 🙂
Man of Wisdom 